An adult man from Louisville, KY has consented to having the infamous KFC Double Down sandwich permanently inscribed on his body. I wish I were simply recapping a South Park parody of America’s obsession with fast food, but I am not. This is not a test. This is for real, and sort of funny, but not in a ha-ha way so much as a wah-wahhh sad trumpet way.
What made a real human being (and a real hero, etc.) get a Double Down on his body? Well, let’s start off with the basics. What is a Double Down? According to KFC, it’s ”Bacon, Monterey Jack cheese and Colonel’s sauce sandwiched between two 100% white meat Original Recipe® filets.” To put it simply, the Colonel had an acid dream once while in college, forgot about it for fifty years, then had a flashback and churned out a sandwich as a result.
But back to bro with the burger tattoo! Apparently, he and his ladyfriend went on a date to KFC, which is sort of sad in every way.
“I actually went on a date with my girlfriend to get a Double Down, it was a while ago. I think when they first came out. I guess that’s how it all started.”
Okay, so why did you get the tattoo?
“It’s a tattoo that people will always ask about. And it’s funny, so.”
…Wait, so that’s the reason? Because “it’s funny, so”? Or is there another reason?
“Well, you don’t get a tattoo if it doesn’t mean something.”
How does this mean anything?
I DON’T UNDERSTAND.
Just for the record, I have lots of tattoos, piercings and a little scarification; I consider myself an avid fan of body modification! I very much enjoy tattoos, even and including silly ones. However, I do not enjoy ones like sausages committing suicide, Miley Cyrus on a wrecking ball, or a sandwich that consists of no bread. That’s really what this about, isn’t it? The lack of proper bread? No, I’m just kidding–it’s disgusting because it’s a sandwich made entirely out of items you can find at KFC.
To be fair, there are a lot of bad tattoos out there, at least 10% of which are on Justin Bieber‘s body. From wonky Winnie the Poohs to misspelled Italian phrases, there are plenty of terrible and famous permanent markings that people have consented to get on their skin (even celebrities, whom I think have way more access to great artists and therefore have fewer excuses for getting crappy tattoos). But simply because the world is already full of bad tattoos does not mean we cannot actively discourage people from getting ones from a fast food chain’s menu, right? Right.
Anyway, if you want to know more about the man who chose to get a Double Down tattooed on his body or how he did it, check it out: