Miranda Kerr Sparks Billionaire Fist Fight In What Can Only Be Described As A Real Life Gossip Girl Episode

2014 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Graydon Carter - Arrivals

A substantial chunk of the world’s economy just got into a beach fist fight over supermodel Miranda Kerr, because evidently real life is just like an episode of Gossip Girl. 

According to Glamour UK, two of Australia’s most famous billionaires started punching each other in the face over the Victoria’s Secret model this weekend, and a third billionaire had to come in and break the whole thing up. The fighters were James Packer and David Gyngell, a famous pair of best-friend business moguls from Australia. Packer has been romantically linked with Kerr in the tabloids recently, which Gyngell reportedly did not like. (Gyngell and Packer are BFFs from private school, and Gyngell was best man at Packer’s wedding to model Erica Baxter, from whom Packer separated in September, two months before Kerr announced her separation from Orlando Bloom.)

Kerr maintains that she is not dating Packer and the two are just friends. But Gyngell is allegedly annoyed at the relationship anyway, and Packer is rumored to have taken umbrage at his friend’s annoyance.

So Packer reportedly declared he was “going to punch” Gyngell, and then the two of them started punching each other in the face because that is what classy people do. (Is a fist fight classier if it happens on the beach in front of a giant mansion? It might be. Everything seems classier around candelabras.)

“Holy crap, big street fight outside my house,” Bondi resident Chris Walker posted to Facebook upon witnessing the giant billionaire fight. “Not thugs, James Packer … And some other angry bloke going toe to toe – total brawl … Wow.”

Glamour UK’s Lauren Smith said she imagined the fight looked like this and immediately became my new hero for finding this wonderful GIF:

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The middle-aged billionaires went at it for real, too. One of them is said to have left with a black eye, and one reportedly had two teeth knocked out before Rupert Murdoch‘s son jumped into the fray to separate them, because a two-billionaire fight is funny, but a three-billionaire fight is a monument to absurdity that cannot be passed up. Packer and Gyngell are reportedly still BFFs, because what’s a couple thousand dollars of dental costs between billionaire buddies?

This just goes to show that the rich aren’t all that different from us. Throw in some romantic drama, and suddenly the beach is full of paunchy, middle-aged dudes with the economic power of small countries punching each other in the sand over hot chicks with glossy hair.

(Photos: Getty, Glamour UK)

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    • malaentuvida

      That scene from Bridget Jones is EXACTLY what popped into my head when I was reading about that fight. Good grief!

      • emma852

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    • Daniela

      I really don’t like the title of this piece. Miranda Kerr didn’t cause this fight – it was the decision of one man to punch his friend. I mean, the title has the subtext of ‘it’s a woman’s fault because men can’t control themselves’, and I find that disappointing.

      It really bothers me that instead of putting the blame on the dudes involved, a woman is being framed as the one at fault. It bothers me even more that this is happening here, where there are multiple posts about sexism in media (and I like about 98% of those posts).

      • HB

        Apparently sexism doesn’t count if it’s used for click bait. I hate it too.

    • Ellie

      Do two billionaires punching each other in the face justify use of the term “fisticuffs?” I really hope so.

      For example:
      So Packer reportedly declared he was “going to engage in a rousing bout of fisticuffs” with Gyngell, and then the two of them started punching each other in the face because that is what classy people do.