• Wed, May 7 - 4:25 pm ET

Justin Bieber Can’t Even Get Revenge Hook-Ups Right

Floyd Mayweather Jr. v Marcos Maidana

via Getty

Have you ever heard of “retaliation hookups?” No? I hadn’t either, but according to the tabloids “retaliation hookups” are a thing. Apparently, Justin Bieber is doing one right now. You see, in a potentially fabricated narrative, Bieber is retaliating against his ex-girlfriend, Selena Gomez, because she called off a collaborative project they had planned. He couldn’t just let his ex girlfriend get away with not wanting to work with his famously annoying arse anymore. He had to get back at her. What’s the Biebs’ retaliation strategy? Dude is going on dates with other women like Kylie Jenner and a young model named Yovanna Ventura. That’ll show Selena! Nothing says counterattack quite like flirting with a fitness model on the beach.

Trying to make someone jealous is virtually the cruelest reason ever to hook up with another human, but if you’re going to do it, do it right. Justin Bieber is doing it all wrong–typical Bieber move. He’s somehow the worst at being the worst. If he really wanted to grind Selena Gomez’s gears, he’d go for a lower blow and make it more theatrical. He wouldn’t be Instagramming pictures from innocent dates with other young celebrities like a normal young famous dude; he’d be publicly courting her mother or boning her current beau on the sly. Revenge is an adult activity. If you want to play dirty, get down in the mud like a dog and play for keeps. Justin Bieber abandoned a monkey in Germany, you’d think he’d be a little better at executing evil deeds.

Regardless of whether any of this Bieber-Gomez nonsense is true, it really does hurt to find our your ex is seeing new people. However, if you find out that they’re only seeing someone else to deliberately get reprisal for your breakup or backing out of a pop music ventures, it probably softens the blow. Not only are you aware that you’re still on their mind, but they are definitely a joke who is not worthy. Hooking up as revenge is such a dramatic move that it typically doesn’t happen in real life. It’s more likely to be the stuff of teen dramas and French epistolary novels. Anyone who is romantically entangling themselves with new partners as an attempt to make you squirm after you’ve already broken up is someone that you should be glad to not be with. Good riddance to that maniacal weirdo.

H/T Hollywood Life

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  • Lindsey Conklin

    hjahahaha he’s even the worst at being the worst

  • Elizabeth Aspen

    Kids today are such useless screwballs.

  • http://nudify-her.com/ Boz

    Undress anyone with Photoshop!
    http://nudify-her.com/

  • HB

    He is THE WORST at everything. Also these girls must kinda suck if they’re playing along (or hanging out) with him, at least a little. Have some respect and kick that loser to the curb.