This Incredibly Honest Wedding Invitation Is The One That All Brides Secretly Want To Send

wedding couple

Weddings are utter and total madness, right? If you’re planning your own wedding, you can do everything right and still have your guests show up and screw the entire thing up. An honest wedding invitation is making the rounds on Reddit, and if it’s real, I would very much like to meet the couple who put this thing together. I’d even like to go to their wedding, and behave myself.

honest wedding invitation

This thing covers the gamut of bad wedding behavior–showing up with more guests than were invites (this is shockingly common–one Reddit commenter even mentioned that her sister invited two guests to her wedding, and they RSVP’d for eight), getting into a fight, gifting off registry, or my favorite: passive aggressive veganism.

This invitation is a pretty hilarious summation of what could possibly go wrong at a wedding, which is one hell of a lot. What’s most terrifying about wedding planning shouldn’t be finding the right dress, a castle to get married in, or perfecting your entrance dance–it should be the fact that the majority of the people in attendance are weirdos you can’t control. You can control your mason jars and flower arrangements, but you can’t control which of your college friends decides to hook up with your little sister. People are really nightmares.

So, on that note, I think we should give up the whole pretense of having perfect weddings and just lean into the idea that it’ll be a shit show. A fun, beautiful shit show during which you get to marry someone, dance, wear something pretty, and have people adore you. Perfect is boring. A fight at your wedding is exciting. Send this invitation out for your wedding so you know which kind to expect.

Photo: Mila Supinskaya/Shutterstock

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    • Sexlovesounds

      this is funny. BUT no one is obligated to gift you a gift. I don’t like it when people act like that about gifts. Yes, it is a wonderful and traditional gesture but “I don’t know what the hell your problem is” if you don’t give one is crazy. Maybe they don’t have money, maybe they spent a lot to travel to your wedding, maybe they forgot, maybe it does mean something, it doesn’t matter.You aren’t entitled to gifts, that’s not what it’s about.

      • JJ

        I agree. A wedding isn’t about gifts its about people witnessing a special moment of you and your spouses life. Its awesome when people can give nice gifts but there is people out there who get invited to weddings who are in bad financial spots right now so they can’t just go out and spend $100 on a silverware set or put money in a card. Don’t invite people to your wedding if your going to be a judge of the quality of all their gifts. This whole concept of people’s gifts should be enough money to cover a portion of the wedding expense is ridiculous. It’s like you chose to have this lavish, expensive wedding pay for it yourself don’t expect huge wads of cash in card and big gifts you can return for money as some sort of repayment for having the privilege of being invited. If that’s what some people want they can just not invite me then, thanks.

      • http://www.benwhoski.com/ Benwhoski

        Agreed. The “gifts” section really rubbed me the wrong way as well. I realize this is meant as a joke, but perhaps I’ve just seen too many examples of people behaving like this about gifts seriously lately. It’s a gift, not a tithe.

    • Samantha Escobar

      Holy crap I love this.

      • Samantha Escobar

        Also I plan on having one of my exes in my actual wedding party and I’m going to specifically instruct him to do the longing eyes. (I mean I won’t really but now I kind of want to.)

    • Alan

      You sound kind of obnoxious, no wonder you seem to have so many obnoxious friends.

    • http://WhyMenLeave.net/ Elizabeth Stone

      This is so true and hilarious! Having just been in this situation, I wish I had sent something like this for my wedding.

    • jenstar

      haaa! It’s the food section that really amused me :D

    • personal

      Wow. ‘Gifting off the registry’ is ‘bad wedding behavior’? Seriously?!
      I thought the wedding registry was simply to help people who didn’t have an idea what sort of present to buy, not a strict list to be adhered to.
      Tacky, tacky, tacky.

      • waffre

        Well, the other thing about the registry is that if you go off it and aren’t really close with the couple there’s a chance you’ll end up giving them something they have already. And since it’s a wedding it could be something expensive. It still isn’t the end of the world if that happens though.

    • waffre

      My cousin RSVP’d for my wedding but neglected to mention that she would be bringing not one but TWO guests. Presumably they didn’t have anything better to do than go to the wedding of someone they’d only met once. And one of them was a young child, whom I had planned no activities for because no one under 12 was invited. I’m still annoyed at that.