12 Things You Need To Do In The Bathroom Right After You Puke At A Party

Jennifer-Lawrence-Seth-Meyers-Miley-Cyrus-story-May-2014

via: Tumblr

You might remember that a story leaked about Jennifer Lawrence and her Oscar party antics–the short version is that she got so drunk at Madonna‘s after party that she threw up, and Miley Cyrus had to tell her to get it together. Miley Cyrus. Despite the story having been spoiled, Lawrence’s version of the story in her own words on Late Night With Seth Meyers is predictably hilarious and charming, and inspired us to think about how best to handle puking at a fancy party. Here’s the 12 things you have to do before leaving the bathroom right after you’ve puked at a party.

1. Brush your teeth. If you’re at someone’s house, just steal their toothpaste. You just puked in their bathroom, so stealing their toothpaste really isn’t a big deal at this point.

kristen stewart brush teeth

2. Wash your face, and any other relevant body parts.

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3. Fix that makeup. Your mascara probably ran quite a bit, so you might want to reapply.

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4. Do a full body check for vomit and wipe it off as best as you can.

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5. Find any perfume you can possibly find (men’s cologne will do) and throw it on yourself.

harry styles perfume

6. Find your phone. You probably flung it in a fit of terror. Check behind the toilet.

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7. Check to make sure your straps are still fastened, bra is in place, and your shoes or off. Sometimes those things just come off.

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8. Drink some water. Stick your head under the faucet if you have to.

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9. If you’re at some sort of fancy event, try to find complimentary lotion to slather all over your body as a perfume substitute.

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10. If you got all sweaty, stick your face under the hand dryer so that the sweat around your hairline will evaporate.

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11. Tip the bathroom attendant really well (if you’re some place fancy). What you just went through was awful, but she had to listen to it.

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12. Go home. It’s time. Really. It’s time.

go home tina fey mean girls

 Gif: Giphy

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    • Kayla

      Actually, brushing your teeth after vomiting may not benefit you in the long run! Of course, your breath is gonna smell and your mouth is gonna taste like ass, and it might make sense to brush your teeth to get rid of all that stomach acid covering your mouth. However, that’s just the problem–stomach acid will weaken your enamel, and brushing your teeth right after will help with scraping the enamel off. Your teeth are weakened after throwing up, and brushing makes it worse. (By the way, this is also true after eating or drinking acidic things, like coffee or orange juice. Sometimes it’s better to brush before eating instead of after!)
      Rinse with mouthwash or just plain water instead. You can brush your teeth 30 minutes to an hour afterwards and do far less damage once your mouth recovers a bit.

      • CanWeBeSensible

        Didn’t realize – thank you!

    • Michelle

      to all those that can actually do something after drinking so much you puke, more power to ya. if i drink so much that i puke (or combine wine with beer), i’m so out of it i can’t function. luckily it’s only happened like 3 times in my life. puking and hangover the next day however aren’t as bad. but i just can’t see how people drink, puke, then keep partying.. maybe it’s because i didn’t drink until my late 20s and i missed that magical time in my life that i could do such things??

    • NellasP

      oh dear! That how rumor and gossip starts: Jennifer didn’t say Miley SAID “get it together” Jen said: she was *LIKE*.. “get it together” It’ That’s 2 different thing, she meant Miley’s face expression. I watched the interview but it’s quoted right there on the gif. ;)