You might remember that a story leaked about Jennifer Lawrence and her Oscar party antics–the short version is that she got so drunk at Madonna‘s after party that she threw up, and Miley Cyrus had to tell her to get it together. Miley Cyrus. Despite the story having been spoiled, Lawrence’s version of the story in her own words on Late Night With Seth Meyers is predictably hilarious and charming, and inspired us to think about how best to handle puking at a fancy party. Here’s the 12 things you have to do before leaving the bathroom right after you’ve puked at a party.
1. Brush your teeth. If you’re at someone’s house, just steal their toothpaste. You just puked in their bathroom, so stealing their toothpaste really isn’t a big deal at this point.
2. Wash your face, and any other relevant body parts.
3. Fix that makeup. Your mascara probably ran quite a bit, so you might want to reapply.
4. Do a full body check for vomit and wipe it off as best as you can.
5. Find any perfume you can possibly find (men’s cologne will do) and throw it on yourself.
6. Find your phone. You probably flung it in a fit of terror. Check behind the toilet.
7. Check to make sure your straps are still fastened, bra is in place, and your shoes or off. Sometimes those things just come off.
8. Drink some water. Stick your head under the faucet if you have to.
9. If you’re at some sort of fancy event, try to find complimentary lotion to slather all over your body as a perfume substitute.
10. If you got all sweaty, stick your face under the hand dryer so that the sweat around your hairline will evaporate.
11. Tip the bathroom attendant really well (if you’re some place fancy). What you just went through was awful, but she had to listen to it.
12. Go home. It’s time. Really. It’s time.