• Thu, Jun 5 - 2:30 pm ET

25 Annoying Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Big Boobs

As I mentioned earlier in my post on bra tips and tricks, I have rather large breasts. This aspect of my body is neither here nor there; I was born, I grew up, and somewhere along the way my chest went from a Semi-Visible B to a size Can’t Squeeze Past People On The Subway DDD. Even though I’m totally down with my big boobs these days, there are plenty of things that happen on a regular basis that I can’t imagine occurring had I been granted much smaller ones. If you’re a large-chested lady and can relate, these 20 annoying things are a shout out to you.

1. Having to hold your boobs as you walk down the stairs.

20 Annoying Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Big Boobs

2. Needing two sports bras when you work out.

20 Annoying Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Big Boobs

3. …Because otherwise, they are in actual danger of whacking you in the chin.

4. People assuming you’re humblebragging when you mention having trouble fitting clothes over your chest.

20 Annoying Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Big Boobs

5. Dropping food down them. Whoops!

20 Annoying Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Big Boobs

…Kind of whoops.

6. How annoying cross strap bags are to wear.

7. The phrase, “Anything more than a handful is a waste.”

8. BOOB SWEAT.

20 Annoying Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Big Boobs

9. Assumptions that you are “slutty” or “trashy” whenever you wear an outfit that shows even a slight big of cleavage.

20 Annoying Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Big Boobs

10. Literally getting kicked out of places because of your boobs…while smaller breasts can “get away” with the exact same outfits. Ugh.

11. Never being able to wear strapless dresses.

At least until now, with this absurdly awesome bra hack (see #3)!

12. Getting told by people to enjoy your big breasts now because later on, they’ll be saggy (as though you and your boobs’ ego need to put in their place).

20 Annoying Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Big Boobs

13. That stupid gap between your upper buttons because your shirt shrank and now your boobs are about to pop out.

14. Going to a lingerie store and all the small bras are like:

20 Annoying Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Big Boobs

And the ones in your size are just:

15. Using your boobs as a place to rest plates or wine glasses. (Okay, this one’s actually just awesome.)

20 Annoying Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Big Boobs

16. People asking outright if you have big nipples.

17. The fact that “built in” bras are never actually bras for you.

18. Whenever people assume you like the attention you get from your breasts.

20 Annoying Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Big Boobs

19. Friends grabbing at them because they’re OMG JUST SO BIG.

20 Annoying Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Big Boobs

20. The way cute baby doll dresses just look like you’re about to have a baby when you wear them.

20 Annoying Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Big Boobs

21. People asking you “where you got your boobs.”

20 Annoying Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Big Boobs

22. How your boobs sunburn before your face does.

burn to death GIF

23. Trying to squeeze by people at a crowded party without rubbing your chest against them. (It’s impossible.)

24. People calling them “melons,” “jugs” or any other weird name.

25. Anything sold at Urban Outfitters was absolutely not made with the intention of fitting your boob type.

BONUS: This GIF.

20 Annoying Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Big Boobs

All images via Giphy unless otherwise noted.

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  • Alana Vincenza

    Wore a dress without a bra to a MDW bbq and realized how bad my #8 was in the middle of the party. Whoops.

  • Natalie

    This is everything to me. So much. Ah. So, so, so much. I hate the button down gap. So many times when I’m at work, I look down to realize my boobs needed to breathe and escaped without telling me. Rude.
    Also though, for sports bras, I only have 1 of them so far because they are pretty pricy, but Moving Comfort has AWESOME high impact sports bras for larger chested ladies that come in actual larger sizes, such as my 34 DD (or 32 DDD depending on the bra). I currently have the Moving Comfort Juno model. I’ve also noticed that Dick’s Sporting Goods is now carrying similarly sized sports bras, although they seem less durable for high impact. I do lots of sprints and stuff so I need the high impact support. Like I said, pricey, you are looking at 50-75+ bucks, so they make excellent Christmas and Bday gifts from your mom. Not that I would know anything about that.

    • Allison

      I was just going to say the same – I LOVE the Juno!! (36D) More support than a VS sports bra WITH a compression shorts bra over it. Luckily I’ve been able to get them on sale two different times, so they were closer to $35 each – check back every so often, some colors seem to go on sale randomly.

  • Steph

    #15 actually happened to me at black tie work event. My colleague rested his rocks glass on my chest. Apparently, I should not have been wearing a strapless dress!

    • itpainsme2say

      did you slap hip or at least drop his drink

    • Samantha Escobar

      WHAT. That is absolutely crazy!

  • itpainsme2say

    I used to know this girl who had to tell one of our hall mates every day that no she could not touch her boobs. Then one day they made a game out of it and if the one girl did some task or other she would get to touch them. BTW both of them were completely strait

  • Mocha

    I feel so confused reading this list. As someone with tiny cup A boobs, I’ve spent at least a decade wishing mine were bigger. Also had no clue #11 applied to ladies with big boobs – I’ve always been told I couldn’t wear them because mine were too small!

    • Emily

      same!

    • Samantha Escobar

      Honestly, I feel like all my friends with various sizes of breasts agree the grass is always greener :( as for strapless dresses–they don’t stay up if you have big boobs, they don’t stay up if you have small boobs. Strapless dresses are jerks.

  • JenH1986

    I haven’t gone braless since the 4th grade… Fear of saggy boobs. I even sleep in a sports bra because they just hurt without a bra.

  • Katie

    So spot on. And I agree @samanthaescobar:disqus – strapless dresses ARE JERKS!

  • Ani

    If you wear a proper sports bra, you only need one. The Wacoal underwire sports bra is the BEST thing that ever happened to me as a runner with 32FFs! Get sized at a real store (not Victoria’s Secret – a place where they actually know what they’re doing) and be amazed. Also, they absolutely make beautiful lingerie for large-breasted women at Nordstrom, Figleaves, and Bravissimo.

  • SugarlipsB

    Oh man, this article upsets me. If you have a properly fitting bra, big boobs are not a pain in the arse at all, it’s just that there is a lot of miseducation from the lingerie industry about bra sizing (because it suits them to make fewer sizes) and a lot of shit fitters out there (because they can only sell you a bra if they tell you that you are a size they sell).

    Firstly, there is no such thing as an A-cup, a D-cup, or any letter cup. The letter means nothing without the band size it’s attached to, because any letter of cup will change in volume in proportion to the band size. The cups in a 32D, 34C and 36B contain the same volume of breast. The cups in a 28D, 30D and 32D contain progressively smaller volumes of breast.

    Secondly, most women are wearing far too big a back size. The practice of adding 4+ inches to your measured ribcage is out of date and unnecessary now that bra material stretches. If you measure 32 around, start trying on 32 bras. The support in a bra needs to come from a good, tight, firm band.

    Thirdly, most women are wearing far too small a cup size. This is usually the result of poor fitting and misconceptions about what an E or F looks like. This misconception itself is caused by bra manufacturers not making a wide enough array of sizes, so people assume that if a 32FF is hard to get hold of, it must be freakishly large. This is not the case. Think how many sizes of shoe there are. Imagine if there were only four.

    A well fitting bra will change your life. I walked into Bravissimo wearing a terrible 38DD and left in an amazing 32FF. I now wear a 34H after some weight gain. You won’t get a good fitting at VS or anywhere that doesn’t sell an extremely wide range of bra sizes. If a shop doesn’t sell below a 32 or above a DDD, leave. If the fitter adds inches to your band measurement, leave.

    Please try the bra size calculator you get when you google A Sophisticated Pair. I don’t work for them – I live in England and I don’t even know where the shop is other than it’s in the USA – but it’s the only online calculator which gives anything like a good result. It got my 34H bang on. The calculation it gives you might scare you because of your preconceptions about bra size. But believe me it’s very accurate and it’ll give you a good place to start from next time you go bra shopping.