• Tue, Jun 10 - 3:00 pm ET

10 Reasons Thongs Are Worth The Wedgie

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I love thongs. As far as I am concerned, thongs are the only underwear that needs to exist. And it’s not because they’re sexy. I’m sure there are people out there who think thongs are very sexy, but my partner is not one of them, and neither am I. (A quick straw poll of friends who are into women reveals a vast majority preference for lace boy shorts as the sexiest underwear.)

Still, I wear thongs basically exclusively. I have since freshman year of high school, when I discovered that thongs not only prevented visible panty lines under my riding pants, they also cured my butt acne and solved a host of other problems.

I own two pair of full-butt, seamless underwear in a color that matches my skin tone, but those exist pretty much only for wearing under specific, floaty summer dresses that are light enough to threaten a Kate Middleton-esque wardrobe malfunction. If I’m not wearing those dresses, I’m almost certainly wearing a thong.

Here’s why you should try one:

1. No panty lines

i.chzbgrThis is the obvious one. Full-butt underwear leaves panty lines under pretty much everything but jeans and full-skirted dresses, and even jeans aren’t 100% safe. Even my wide-legged Katharine Hepburn pants threaten panty lines if I try to wear them with full-butt underpants. Nope nope nope.

2. No seams to sit on

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If you have to sit for a long time, the seams of regular underwear under your butt can become a literal pain in the ass. I hate winding up with little red impressions on my butt from sitting on my own dumb underpants all day.

3. No wandering fabric to worry about

giphy-7When you wear full-butt underwear under jeans or other pants, friction can make the fabric shift and bunch uncomfortably. Not so with the thong! Thongs tend to stay where they’re put.

4. No wedgies

giphy-4This is counter-intuitive, but a thong is made to create a wedgie, so they tend to sit comfortably. Regular underpants are meant to stay on the cheek, but when they bunch up and you wind up with a whole pair of underpants in your butt, it can be extraordinarily uncomfortable. That always seems to happen when you can’t get somewhere discreet to fix it.

5. Less butt acne

giphy-8Sorry, but people can get pimples everywhere. If you’re sitting on the seams of your underwear all day, or walking around being lightly abraded by them, the friction can irritate your skin and cause breakouts. Nice, loosely fitting underpants might help, but good luck hiding those under any of your clothes.

6. No chafing

giphyWhen it gets hot and you start to sweat, having a pair of underwear rubbing you in an uncomfortable way is the worst thing ever. A soft, well-fitting cotton thong can spare you a world of butt cheek soreness.

7. They save space

giphy-6Thongs are tiny, so you can fit way more in your drawer.

8. Not having to buy more when you change size

giphy-9Because there is less fabric, it is much more difficult to outgrow or shrink out of a thong. My favorite thong is the low-rise lace thong by Hanky Panky, and I have never managed to change size enough that I had to get rid of any. No matter how much my weight changes, these guys just stretch and shrink along with me. (If you find a brand of underwear you find particularly comfortable, keep an eye out for sales. You’ll probably wind up with a wardrobe of weirdly colored underpants, but it’s still worth it.)

9. So much more comfortable

giphy-2If you get a thong that fits well and is comfortable to you, they can be way more comfortable than full-butt underwear. I can’t feel mine at all, which is never the case with full-butt underwear. If your thong is uncomfortable, try going up a size or two. It should rest comfortably around your hips without digging anywhere.

10. You will always have emergency ponytail holders

giphy-1I do not know what keeps happening to my ponytail holders! I buy them in big packs from the drug store, and then they all disappear. But if your lingerie drawer is full of thongs, you can always just use one of those in an emergency, like if you’re trying to wash your face in the morning and all the scrunchies have disappeared. (Do try not to forget that you’re not wearing a real ponytail holder, though. This is not a look one generally wants to leave the house in.)

 

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  • Jenni

    I’m intrigued by thong hair fashion. How do we make this the next big thing?

    • EatingOut

      Let’s replace that stupid peplum trend with the thong hair treand

    • Lisa Kellogg

      I was a bit bothered by this hair fashion solely because I thought it was going to be a solution for not having a ponytail holder when already away from your home. Thank god it’s only for clean underwear.

  • Gina

    Where would you put getting skin tags on your labia from your thong rubbing against them?

    • http://flockeoseagulls.flavors.me/ Frances “Librle” Locke

      This has never happened to me, and I love me some thong underwear. As long as you get the correct size, I don’t see how this would be more of an issue with thongs than bikini or any other style of underoos.

  • Lisa Kellogg

    This sounds like it was written by me. This is everything I’ve been saying since my freshman year of high school.

    • http://www.ambiencechaser.com/ Elizabeth Licata

      High school was when I converted, too. I think it was going up the crowded school stairs that did it. The butts of the girls in front of me were right at my eye level, and that wall of visible panty lines made me think, “You know, I need to start wearing thongs with this kind of pant.” (We had a no-jeans dress code)