• Thu, Jun 12 - 4:00 pm ET

21 Annoying Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re A Redhead

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Red hair is the best hair, isn’t it? Nicole Kidman and Lindsay Lohan seem to prefer being blondes, but as far as I’m concerned, red hair is fantastic. It’s the most rare hair color and is rumored to be gradually going extinct, but that’s OK because hair coloring technology is improving every day. If redheads do disappear, nobody will notice because of all the perfect dye jobs running around.

Still, having red hair–natural or otherwise–creates a few unique experiences. If you’re a redhead, you’ll probably know what I’m talking about.

1. When people ask you if that’s your natural hair color.

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2. When people tell you you can’t wear red.

giphy-123. How annoying those “best colors for you” articles are when all the answers are dumb colors like mustard and olive.

giphy-134. That misguided childhood phase when you insisted you were not a redhead, you were a “strawberry blonde.”

giphy-265. How awesome it is to go into the Pre-Raphaelite section at the museum.

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Actually that’s not annoying at all, that’s awesome.

6. That envy when you see a redhead who can get a tan. 

giphy-197. That feel when you see a non-natural redhead whose color is better than yours.

giphy-158. When you go to the salon and pay a lot of money to get your hair dyed a slightly different shade of red.

giphy-289. When you have done that and someone asks you if you are a natural redhead and you do not know how to answer.

giphy-2710. When people ask you if the carpets match the drapes.

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11. I mean, seriously.

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12. Do they think we do not know what they are asking us about? 

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What do they expect us to say, “Oh, you’re so creative and not at all a weirdo asking questions about my vagina”?

13. What you think your face looks like with no makeup on.

giphy-2214. Feeling guilty for contributing to the extinction of redheads by procreating with someone with a mess of dominant genes.

giphy-2415. You feel personally betrayed when a famous redhead goes blonde.

giphy-2516. When you hear other people say they don’t wear sunscreen.

giphy-2317. When another redhead shows up and you’re like, “OK, one of us is going to have to leave.”

giphy-2118. Really wanting to try a cool new hair color like pink or blue or purple, but being unable to shake the feeling that red is too valuable to throw away.  

giphy-3019. People assuming your hair color is a personality trait.giphy-20

I’m not fiery. I don’t have a temper. I just want to drink wine, order delivery sushi, and watch Adventure Time for 26 hours.

20. What is the deal with redhead fetishists, anyway?

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21. Knowing someday you will go gray and won’t be able to dye it back to anything approaching your current hair color. 

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(Photos: Giphy)

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  • Samantha Escobar

    “10. When people ask you if the carpets match the drapes.”

    Oh my god, even though I don’t have red hair, when I had blue hair people used to ask me that all the time.

    • loser_sneeze

      Blondes get that question a lot as well. I think creepy people really just like asking about pubic hair. And that question never gets less creepy.

    • itpainsme2say

      just say look at my eyebrows there is your answer

    • Samantha Escobar

      I would rather just say “don’t ask me that shit, and also fuck off.”

    • http://flockeoseagulls.flavors.me/ Frances “Librle” Locke

      I like to say “I dunno, ask your mom.” Then walk away all badass-like.

    • itpainsme2say

      I like to educate the masses so they never have to ask stupid things of people again

    • Samantha Escobar

      You are far kinder and more well-composed than I (which is good, because we do need somebody to educate the masses).

    • loser_sneeze

      I try not to dignify that shit with an answer.

  • Krusticle

    Relative to No. 13: putting mascara on first because you have to make a mess to get all the way down to those blondie-red roots, followed by careful clean-up with a Q-tip.

  • echo7341

    Er… Emma Stone is naturally a blonde. So is Christina Hendricks I believe. So yeah, about that…

    And imagine the carpet not matching the drapes but reversed. As in, I’m not a redhead but my pubes are. How the eff does that even happen?!

    Ok, ok I do have a teeny tiny bit of red in my hair, but it’s definitely more of a light brown with red and blonde natural highlights and I have like Jessica Chastain hair color pubes. Definitely have gotten some wide eyes over the years because of it.

    #FIRECROTCHPRIDE

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    • Mandie

      Re: Emma Stone and Christina Hendricks… Rita Hayworth is the OG redheaded superstar, and she was actually Hispanic with bottle red and an electrolysis-ed forehead. Can’t fault anyone for wanting to join Team Ging :)
      But Julianne Moore is legit and I love her and I want to be her when I grow up.

  • Andrea

    This is all so spot on. Especially #9. I am a natural redhead, but as many know, it has dulled as I’ve gotten older, so now I occasionally brighten it with dye or henna. Luckily it still matches my overall coloring, so it’s rarely questioned!

  • HQB

    5. How awesome it is to go into the Pre-Raphaelite section at the museum.

    AMEN!

  • Abby

    Yup yup yup! I love the Christina Hendricks gif for #10—spot on!! The first time someone asked me that I was absolutely mortified; I was a freshman in high school and it was this guy on the wrestling team I was totally jonesing for. So embarrassing at the time :-D And the last one makes me sad, but I figure I can be like my grandma when I’m old and have my hair dyed various shades of red-orange each month. Win!

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