Cate is something of a renaissance sex worker and has held numerous interesting jobs in the adult industry. Each week, she shares her stories in Harlotry.
A lot of people think sex workers are there just for men to get off with, to, and on. That couldn’t be further from the case. I’ve written before about how most of my clients are seeking not only sex, but especially intimacy from sex workers. They come to me and my ho sisters and brothers not necessarily just because they want to get off, but because they want a human connection. This is why kissing is so widely sought-after.
Due to films like Pretty Woman, it’s a common misconception that whores don’t kiss, and while I’m sure there are still sex workers who refuse to kiss their clients, they are no longer the majority. It’s very uncommon for full service sex workers (those of us who have sex with our clients) to not offer at least some kissing. The girlfriend experience has become standard for indoor full service sex workers, and while that means different things in different cities, it always means kissing.
For me, and I think for most people, a kiss is usually a thousand times more intimate than any sex could ever be. On a purely biological level there is the simple fact that the mouth is the dirtiest part of the human body. When you kiss someone you are swapping your most disgusting germs with them. It may sound gross, but it’s the reality. Then there is the closeness involved; your faces, the things by which we recognize each other, are touching and melding. It’s impossible to equate that kind of closeness to that which we achieve through sex.
In my personal life I don’t kiss much. Maybe this has to do with my fear of intimacy and commitment, but I’m not sure if that’s really the case.