15 Reasons Why It’s Never OK To Wear Sweatpants In Public

It doesn’t matter how much you are PMSing, just don’t. Please. Some people argue that there are a few times when it is fine to wear sweatpants out in public, but you really shouldn’t. Ever. I say this as a friend, because wearing sweatpants outside of your house means that bad stuff will happen. Not world-bursting-into-flames bad, but bad enough that you’ll at least want to rant on Twitter about it. That is probably why some people want sweatpants banned.

These are the reasons why you deserve it to yourself to put on something else, before you walk out of your front door:

1. You probably don’t remember the last time they were washed. And they are covered in permanent pizza grease stains from all of your late night takeout binges.

2. Britney Spears can’t even pull them off.

3. Even if you are just popping out to the corner shop to buy your usual late night pint of ice cream and trashy magazines, you will run into your ex, or your boss, or that bitch from high school.

4. You don’t want people to know that you are a tween at heart and still shop at Aeropostale. They find this out, and they might discover that you bought the Cody Simpson CD and watch reruns of iCarly.

5. Other people have to wear proper pants with buttons and zippers, so you should too. It’s only fair to them.

6. People will automatically label you as “the poor girl who just broke up with her boyfriend who is consoling herself with Jane Austen films and a family size pack of chocolate bars.” It doesn’t matter if it’s true, just don’t have them thinking it is.

7. As we learned in Mean Girls, wearing sweatpants in the wrong situation, will make you lose friends.

8. You sleep in them. You don’t go outside wearing that free, oversized Lakeside 5K Run 2006 t-shirt, or your SpongeBob SquarePants fleece pyjama bottoms, do you?

9. No one believes you are going to work out. People stopped wearing sweatpants to the gym in the 90s.

10. The elastic waist will make you think it is okay to go eat half a dozen doughnuts or an entire packet of Mrs. Fields cookies. Life is not an all-you-can-eat buffet.

11. That wrinkled dress with the mustard stain down the front still looks more pulled together than clean sweats.

12. There is nothing that you can pair with sweatpants to make them look remotely stylish and not like you just rolled out of bed (which you probably did).

13. You are not Justin Bieber. If you wear them half hanging off your ass (even if it is accidentally because they are really your boyfriend’s) people will think that you’re a douche.

14. People will automatically assume that none of your other clothes fit. It’s a crappy thing to think, but it is true.

15. There are other things you can wear that are equally comfortable and have elasticated waists. A maxi skirt is a good option. Yoga pants are slightly better.

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    • Guest

      This might be the most idiotic thing I’ve ever seen

    • CMJ

      I have sequin sweatpants. I fucking love them.

    • JennyWren

      People sleep in sweatpants? I mean, I guess if it gets really, really cold where you live, but they would get so gross so fast…
      I’m generally on the side of wearing “outside” clothes for going outside, if only because it makes me feel better, but I really don’t think your boss is going to be scandalized if he sees you wearing sweatpants while buying milk at 11pm on a Tuesday. Just keep your upper half streamlined (sweatpants AND a sweatshirt is probably a bit much) and wear structured shoes and you’ll be fine.
      I’ll be honest, I throw more shade at people who wear socks and shower sandals in public.

    • PSG

      http://www.lyst.com/clothing/31-phillip-lim-silk-zip-sweatpants/

      Pfft. Any credibility was lost after B. Spears was mentioned as some sort of fashion icon.

    • vivalaperri

      Calling major bullshit on this article. I see the blatant attempts at humor, but it’s still not funny. Sweatpants have gotten a reboot, the slim jogger style paired with a well fitting blazer and a minimalistic heel is a gorgeous look.