The 17 Most Offensive Responses The Internet Had To My Fat Girls Post

A few days ago I wrote a little post about 20 things only fat girls understand. The Internet, as I knew it would, responded in kind. The fat girl must not have opinions. The fat girl must only use GIFs of fat people in her fat girl post. The fat girl is misguided and uses something that the sad internet people of Reddit call “fat logic.” In the SubReddit: Fat Logic, like-minded people discuss like-minded things, like the disgusting displays of fat people they see on the street, on television, and online. They sit there on their forum, stewing in their hatred for other bodies, congratulating themselves for not going so low as to ever use the same logic as a person that is heavier than them. They are severely unhappy, misguided, and angry people.

To those people, I say this: thank you very much for visiting our site. The traffic you gave to us was very sweet. Really, you shouldn’t have. But we thank you, all the same.

I enjoyed reading their responses. Here are my absolute favorite responses to my fat girls article, may god bless their tiny fat shaming hearts.

1.

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I wanted to start with something fun and uplifting. The attached “soon” meme implied that soon my death would be upon me. How sweet.

2. Screen Shot 2014-07-17 at 9.13.15 AM

This person threatened violence! Because I have a fat ass! He has not seen my ass so I propose an ass-fight. Only the strongest ass will win.

3.

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I want to shout “I’m perky yet aggressive!” from the rooftops and have it engraved on my headstone.

4.

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I only see a compliment for doing a job well done. So thanks, pinkpeach11197!

5.

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The GIFs aren’t irrelevant, I cited them, and I’m SO GLAD I slowed your browser down so you couldn’t beat off to sub girls calling you daddy. You just made my day.

6.

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Yes, I would love it if manufacturers replaced the inner thigh with a patch of ultra strength low friction wonder material that is super cute and affordable! THIS IS EXACTLY MY POINT.

And you seem oddly concerned with alleviating the pressure between my thighs…

7.

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This, boy and girls, is an uneducated confused person. They confuse fat positivity with thin shaming, which is something I would never do.

8.

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I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over all those capital letters and how much I don’t give a shit, you unspecial lame cupcake!

9.

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#1 Tumblr A-Hole at your service! There were words too, but maybe you can’t read? If so, my apologies. But I guess you can’t read that either.

10.

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1) My ass is very real. 2) I am indeed a feminist, so rage on. 3)I prefer vaginally inclined.

Now excuse me while I run around the block with my un-shaved legs and shamelessly take birth control pills while fighting off all the delusional persecutions and yelling that YES, ALL MEN are pigs.

11.

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OMG I am so embarrassed that you saw me crying while writing my post. Next time, can we agree to pretend I had something in my eye?

12.

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I was so silly to think that people would read the words and just enjoy the corresponding GIFs. What a silly vaginally inclined person I am.

13.

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Once again, the GIFs were not the point.

14.

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Your roommate from college should probably stay far away from you from now on. And Sonic is delicious. I want some right now. Does that make you have a sad face?

15.

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I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE GIF HATE. What’s wrong with you people?!

16.

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Oh damn, are you a certified personal trainer? Oh, you’re not? Didn’t think so.

17.

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You guys are totally right. If Rebel Wilson or Melissa McCarthy ever saw my post, they would definitely think, “Why aren’t there more GIFs of me in here? Like, I’m reading what she’s saying, but the GIFs just aren’t doing it for me.” Yes, that’s exactly how it would go.

This morning before work, I stood naked in front of my mirror, hands lovingly patting my belly, pinching the fat on my arms, and rubbing my fat thighs against each other. I reminded myself that my body is a good body. All bodies are good bodies. Thin, fat, short, tall, round, lanky. They are all good bodies. Even the dear Reddit trolls have good bodies, though no doubt have poisoned minds. After that, I put on a dress, some lipstick, and caught the train into the city. If that image makes the fat-shamers throw up in their mouths, I sincerely hope with all the conviction of the clogged arteries of my heart that they choke on it.

Share This Post:
    • Lily Savage

      Could you please add more gifs???????? I want Rattleh3ad’s browser to suffer.

    • http://rockcurvatude.blogspot.com Curvatude

      Bravo to you! All bodies are good bodies & we fat girls are owning ours!

      • Alana Vincenza

        Thanks, Curvatude! What a great name :)

    • Samantha Escobar

      It’s always, always, always reassured me that people who comment (A) are helping pay our salaries and (B) don’t get paid to comment. Even though sometimes it stings a bit, that whole “having a job” thang really helps. :D

      • Dumbcunt

        Oh look, another dumbass. ADBLOCK PLUS – you don’t get paid for blocked ads.

      • Samantha Escobar

        You don’t seem to understand how page views work.

      • Dumbcunt

        Are you stupid? Me viewing this page generates absolutely no ad revenue. Implied ad viewing is neither trusted, nor used. It only takes actual ads being loaded on the ad server from a request by this website to me to generate income. Page viewership means absolutely nothing.

      • Samantha Escobar

        …You realize that we do better–as employees–within our own company as a result of having higher page views, right? I don’t automatically have ad revenue distributed into my bank account; I do not own this website. But when my PV count is higher and when there are increases in comments (thanks again), it looks better to the people who do actually pay my bills.

    • Ashley Reese

      Ugh, sorry you got trolled but your response was awesome! Let ‘em hate, boo.

    • Cee

      Im a redditor and seeing people worry about “stealing gifs” is the most pathetic thing ever. Most gifs come from movies, music videos or youtube. Unless you are the one that created the originsl video, have a seat “gif curator.”

    • Alexandra Mitchell

      Rock it girl! And I’m with Lily on this one, MORE GIFS!

    • loser_sneeze

      I feel like you need to see this which sums up every terrible comment on any internet thing. https://medium.com/thinking-and-rethinking-race/a-handy-template-for-online-trolls-70c0a8bb649c

      • Alana Vincenza

        YAS this is so great

    • Carrie

      Unlike some people I read the words AND laughed at the pictures. Great post (both of them)

      • Alana Vincenza

        Thank you!!!

    • Mahdi Martin

      You do have a “good body”, and I’ve never even seen it. Our bodies are our most valuable earthly tools. Love and respect them!

      • Alana Vincenza

        Amen, sista!

    • Michelle

      i like that last part, ALL bodies are GOOD bodies!

    • FemelleChevalier

      And you seem oddly concerned with alleviating the pressure between my thighs…

      LOL. I like you already, you vagina inclined person.

    • la vega

      I need Perky + Aggressive Tshirts #asaptually. K thanks.

      • Alana Vincenza

        It’s honestly the best thing anyone has ever called me. Perky and Aggressive FO LYFE.

    • JennyWren

      I think the people complaining about the GIFs are people who wanted to find something to complain about but couldn’t. Or people who don’t know how GIFs work. Or the internet. Or adult conversations, for that matter…
      Anyway, I loved your original post! Definitely recognized a lot of it. My weight has changed a lot over the years, and I’d say some of the things you described are common to many women (no, a catcall is not a compliment, and if you think it is you need help), but they are also things that I felt more acutely when I was larger. Social pressure does change according to how you’re viewed, which is not the same as saying it’s ever nonexistent.

    • charlesrlee

      My Uncle
      Riley got an almost new red GMC Canyon just by some parttime working online
      with a laptop. visit their website C­a­s­h­f­i­g­.­C­O­M­

    • Dumbcunt

      You didn’t actually reply to most of them. You simply avoided the comments and made terrible jokes. It’s as if you’re in denial about being a useless, fat, cunt that should probably be murdered. Coolio dudette, stellar article. Also, are you smart enough to realize that visiting your page doesn’t give you ad money/flow/traffic? The loading of ads to unique IP addresses/computers does. Guess what: adblock plus.

      • Alana Vincenza

        Aw, thanks dear reader! I’ve gone so long without being called a useless cunt that I almost forgot what I really was!

      • S

        Ugh, fuck you. Shitty un-funny trolls throwing around misogynistic bullshit and making people like the author think anyone who tries to point out that obesity is objectively bad must be aligned with the likes of you. What a sad excuse for a human being you must be.

    • TheDarkArtist

      I made it! Woo! But, seriously, body positivity is a great thing. Fat acceptance is not. You can say that fat acceptance is a feminist issue, I disagree. I think a bigger issue is that women are more adversely affected by obesity than men, owing to a more complex physiology and psychology.

      The diet industry is evil and exploitative. So is the processed food industry. That doesn’t mean that obesity is acceptable, it means that you should eat the right amount of calories and get exercise, because it improves your health in all aspects so that you can ignore those industries.

      It doesn’t mean that it’s ever healthy to be obese. It’s not. It can’t be. Those rolls are your body’s way of saying “something is going wrong, do something about it.”

      • S

        Yeah I don’t get how she seemed to think you were saying feminism was a bad thing/putting down feminists when your comment was v clearly pro-feminist and promoting an important aspect of feminist dialogue…

    • Disgusted

      You’re not clever. You think your “witty” responses are funny or make you seem cute and likeable, you think your version of body positivity is actually positive and helpful- but in reality, you are deluded and you’re being harmful to society as a whole and spreading a plague of pride in unhealthiness. Pride in unattractiveness, hostility at the slightest criticism of your objectively terrible condition- I would ask you to reconsider your life choices, but I think you’re beyond saving. You have so convinced yourself that you look good, that you’re one of the special ones who doesn’t deserve their obesity- you look terrible, and your choices led to your obesity and consequent ugliness. The first impression that you give off is of a lazy, self-entitled, pretentious narcissist. Stop spreading your poison to young people and creating a generation of monsters.