The 11 Stages Of Growing Out Your Brazilian Wax

Having been the victim willing recipient of multiple Brazilian bikini waxes, I have now realized that my least favorite step of the whole process is not the part where they rip out your hair–it’s the few weeks afterward where you have to grow it out. The stages of your regrowth are awkward and so very uncomfortable, so even though I typically love the results, the aftermath is enough to make me want to use other hair removal methods, or to simply go without removing anything at all.

If you are one of those lucky people with generally thin hair, these may not apply to you, but if you’re a thick-haired lady like myself (TMI? Meh, I passed that point ages ago), then chances are you’ll empathize with these annoyances.

1. Relief.

It’s over! You did it!

2. Skepticism.

You look a little bit like a plucked chicken. You begin to wonder if this was worth the money, time, and pain.

3. Satisfaction.

The redness has gone down! This is the part where you can’t stop running your hands over your newly-waxed area, not so much as a sexual thing but more in a “my crotch has the texture of effing cashmere” way.

4. Excitement.

You want to share your crotch with the world! Again, this does not necessarily have to be a sexy thang–you could just want to put on a bathing suit and head to the beach/park/rooftop/sidewalk to show it all off.

5. Stress.

Ruh roh, you’ve just noticed a few wayward hairs. And an ingrown one. And now there’s a slight stubble…

6. Disappointment.

And there’s another hair. Oh look! It’s been two days and you already have regrowth. How lovely that your crotch now has five o’clock shadow, making it sexy in a Clint Eastwood kind of way.

7. Itching.

Itchiness is one of the single worst feelings and your pubic area is probably the single worst area to have that feeling in. It’s like an STD combined with a

8. Embarrassment.

 

You try to scratch on the down low, but you are also painfully aware that you are walking with a little bit of a twist to satisfy your urge to itch. It feels like everyone thinks you have crabs.

9. Shame.

So, even though you got this here Brazilian wax so you could wear your bikini without any hair showing, you now feel like everyone can see your stubble (even though they probably can’t).

10. Patience.

Due to the fact that you need a 1/4″ hair length in order to minimize pain and make your next wax as effective as possible, you must now wait! You can’t shave or do any real trimming unless you have decided to abandon ship on the whole waxing deal. Whomever said “patience is a virtue” never had a 1/8″ of regrowth and ingrown hairs outside their labia.

11. Reluctant Repetition.

Here we are, back at the salon, starting the cycle all over again.

Perhaps these are just my experiences! I’ve heard similar frustrations from friends, but I have also been told about a billion times that these effects are very much minimized by regular waxing over the course of years (years), so who knows? If you’ve got a Brazilian wax story, we’d love to hear it, so tell us in the comments!

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    • NormaGFranco

      The stages of your regrowth are awkward and so very uncomfortable, so even though I typically love the results, the aftermath is enough to make me want to use other hair removal methods, or to simply go without removing anything at all. http://s6x.it/uyof

    • Jen Pires

      LOL that cat gif….