10 Poses That Every Fashion Blogger Does

Fashion Blogger FeatureWhether you follow Gal Meets Glam (I adore you Julia Engel) or Song of Style, College Prepster or We Wore What, you’re bound to notice some distinct patterns. Ever since I’ve taken some time pretending to be a real fashion blogger for The Gloss, those similarities have become even more pronounced. That said, this whole fashion blogging thing is no picnic.

If there’s anything I learned from this post it is that these girls must be absolutely shameless. I took these pictures in downtown Madison, New Jersey, population ~16,000 and let me tell you: it was awkward. People stared. And laughed. How do they get these amazing pictures on the streets of New York City or San Francisco? Answer: No shame. And hey, good for them.

Without further ado, I present the 10 poses you’ll see every single fashion blogger doing, stares of strangers be damned.

1. The Leg Cross

-The Leg-Cross-

Fashion bloggers love to cross their legs as they look up at you with a stare that is meant to jointly say “Who me?” and “Look how sultry I am.”

2. The Hair Tuck

-The Hair Tuck

See also: The Hat Hold and The Awkward Sunglass Touch. Sometimes they even just rest their hand on their head apropos of nothing.

3. The Purposeful Street Cross

The Purposeful Street Cross

Don’t I look like I have so many important places to go?

4. The Bashful Look Down

The Bashful Look-Down

After taking so many of these pictures lately, I completely understand the widespread use of the sly-smile look-down. For me it’s because it’s comforting that the focus is less on my face than the outfit. Whatever the reason, I’m a big fan.

5. The Park Bench Ponder

Park Bench Ponder

Just sitting here thinking about the inherent symbolism of words themselves, the impossibility of black holes, and the lyrics to a Keith Urban song.

6. The Brick Wall Lean

TheBrick Wall Lean

I just read that every brick-front building owner in New York is constantly shooing away fashion bloggers, and I am not at all surprised seeing as this one leg pose runs rampant on the interwebs. Though I think I’m making too much eye contact. Real fashion bloggers love gazing into the distance. Speaking of…

7. Laughing Into The Abyss

Laughing into the Abyss

Can you tell I’m laughing at absolutely nothing? Here you’ll notice I’ve committed another grave error that a real fashion blogger would never make: I let my eyes squint in the way they actually do when a person laughs. WRONG. ALL WRONG. A real fashion blogger must always open her eyes a little bit wider than normal to let in as much illumination as possible, even if it’s totally unnatural.

8. The Over The Shoulder

the Over the Shoulder

Damn I squinted again.

9. The Sassy Hands On Hips

The Sassy Hands on Hips

This is something of a triple whammy actually: sassy hands on hips, leg cross, and the look down. Watch out world, I’m feeling sly, sassy, powerful and bashful all at the same time.

10. The Stoop Kid

The Stoop Kid

Rumor has it that fashion bloggers are indeed afraid to leave their stoops… without an iced coffee.

Share This Post:
    • Alana Vincenza

      I always wonder how many pictures it takes to get the “laughing into the abyss” look jussst right.

      • Kelsey Manning

        Haha welll…it took me and my friend about 25. But I’m awkward and not a professional so who knows!

    • Hayley Hoover

      Laughing into the abyss, hahaha. These are too accurate!

      • Naomi

        Welp. There’s the title for my autobiography.

    • Your Physics Phriend

      Kelsey. Black holes are not impossible.

      • Kelsey Manning

        Haha you right, you right. I meant more like incredibility or “hard-to-believe-ness.” Should have been more precise

    • capoupascap

      You forgot the throw designer purse on ground by feet and take a pic of that w/ their pigeon toes.

      • Kelsey Manning

        Pigeon toes CRAP you’re right! Part II?

      • capoupascap

        Yes definitely! Because I loved this. Spot on and hilarious!

      • Samantha Escobar

        YES.

    • Samantha Escobar

      I cannot even handle how much I love this.

      • Kelsey Manning

        Thanks! Yeah, sometimes I’m jealous of their lives and then I realize I’m not equipped to handle that level of awkward

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Hahaha, you killed this.

    • hannah

      “Afraid to leave their stoops” SLAYED me.

      • Kelsey Manning

        Woo!! Hey Arnold reference for the win

    • Mandie

      So lol accurate. Also the “taking a call on my iPhone” even though everyone knows the only person to actually dial and not text is your mother and Uber.

    • http://littlelioness.net Fiona

      *giggles* perfect!

    • http://www.prettymayhem.com/ Pearl – Pretty Mayhem

      Haha this made me laugh so much. I’m not a fashion blogger per se but I’m still guilty of doing a few of these poses in my ‘what i wore’ posts. No wonder people stare! lol

    • http://allmumsaid.com.au/ Kell @ All Mum Said

      hahaha I always have the squinty eyes. Think I may need a coach to teach me that unnatural smile – good thing I don’t fashion blog on a daily basis. There would be an excessive amount of squint and awkward stooping.

    • LittleBird

      Where’s “Overextended Knees and Pigeon Toes While Looking at my Own Shoes”