Everyone’s been on a bad first date at least once in their lives, if not dozens of them. While these can be awkward, uncomfortable, and occasionally ridiculous at while you’re actually on them, there is one bright side: they make great stories. Plus, you can be a part of instructing people on what not to do for for first (and all) dates!
In fact, that’s exactly what we asked our readers to last week when we begged this question: what is the least attractive thing somebody can do on a first date? You know, besides wear flip flops. The answers are range from astounding to cringe-worthy to bonafide WTF status, but all are educational. If you’ve got a first date coming up (or hope to, at least), take heed of these readers’ experience-based advice.
1. Being patronizing.
Adriherdan: “I’m also a writer and I hate it when guys who are in finance make me feel like what they do is more important because they are making more money. However, the WORST first date comment I’ve gotten was when I was back in college in Boston and went out with a Harvard student. He asked me where I went to school and I replied Emerson College to which his reaction was to giggle and say “That’s cute.”
2. Asking why you’re single.
Creative Pros: “‘Why are you single?’ or any similar question even when hidden as a compliment like ‘I find it hard to believe you’re not involved being so pretty.’ It’s demeaning and dumb when trying to get to know someone and there’s no honest and not awkward way to answer it. ‘BECAUSE I’M A HIDEOUS BEAST WITH SCALES AND HERE ARE ALL MY PERCEIVED FLAWS, Now why are YOU single jackass? Is it because you ask ladies why they’re single all the time?’”
3. Disliking your pets.
NYC Nanny: “This is more for the fist time I bring someone home: not liking my pets. Nope. Cya. I once had a guy PUSH my dog out of bed. She was only a puppy (albeit a 40lb puppy, but still). He said dogs don’t belong in bed. Guess how long it took me to kick HIM out of bed? ”
4. Saying your name over and over and…
Alexis Rhiannon: “I’m really put off when people use my name repeatedly. Makes me feel like it’s an interview or they’re trying way too hard to earn my trust. As if I don’t know that technique. (I am a nightmare.)”
5. Talking negatively about other women.
JennyWren: “Criticizing other women. As in ‘I’ve dated so many stuck-up girls, you seem so normal’ or ‘Good for you! Real women should have meat on their bones!’ if I order a sandwich. My favorite was ‘Don’t you hate how everyone acts around pretty girls?’ managing to insult other women AND me. I just gave him the side-eye and said ‘So what are you, slumming it right now?’”
6. Acting like you’re already in a relationship.
Catherine Drage: “I had a first date that was going really well sushi turned into seeing a movie. The next thing I know he’s all over me and not in the ‘I want you’ way but like cuddling me as if he was my boyfriend, holding me from behind and resting his head between my neck. I was dying! Then we get into the movie, he lifts my arm up and puts it around him! I wanted to crawl out of my own skin! He was resting his head on my breasts. I sat there for 10 seconds and then told him it wasn’t comfortable for me. I’ve never wanted a date to end more! So awkward…”
7. Not tipping.
simoneutecht: “Being nasty to service people and not tipping. I worked in the industry for 15 years so I’m really keen on this stuff. And a close third us getting too drunk especially if I’m not. But thank god Mr Utecht took me away from all this 17 years ago.”
8. Being rude to servers.
loser_sneeze: “Being rude to servers/ bar tenders and not tipping are my number 1 pet peeve. Seriously, what is your malfunction?!?”
9. Being condescending about women in the workforce.
Natalie: “When I mention something good happening to me at work or the president of my company saying he values my work and gives me more responsibility and being met with ‘awww it’s just because you are so pretty, of course the president wants to see more of you’ as if it’s inconceivable that I’m actually highly educated and good at my job. So basically, misogynists comments disguised as compliments. That’s kinda a deal breaker at any point I suppose, not really first date. Sorry, it JUST happened to me and I was getting sick of it. We were at 4ish dates though.”
10. Talking about their ex.
JennyWren: “In this same vein, talking overt shit about your ex girlfriend or wife is a HUGE turn-off. I’m not talking about people who have genuinely dreadful exes (who don’t usually talk about them much if they can help it), I’m talking about the guy who got divorced ten years ago and still takes every opportunity to talk about what a bitch his wife was. It just makes me think ‘The next person he goes on a date with, he’s going to be shit-talking about me because I forgot to text him back.’”
Click to the next page to read about dealbreaking gross habits, the question you should never ask somebody before the end of a date, and one woman’s awful story from just the other night.