A few weeks ago, I did something I never thought I’d do: I joined Tinder. When I first joined, I basically lost my mind worrying about totally ridiculous things. I worried that choosing a flattering display picture was akin to catfishing. I worried that no one would match with me ever. I worried that any matches I did get would send me messages worthy of a shout out on Tinder Nightmares.
And now, after a full three weeks of regular Tindering, I’m still worried. Not about any of the things I mentioned above, but about the state of the entire world. After 21 days of Tindering, I’ve seen some shit. Some real twisted shit. Shit that I cannot unsee.
Over the past three weeks, I have seen Tinder profiles that have featured the following:
Photos of dead girlfriends
One man’s display picture was of him snuggling up to a woman in what appeared to be a romantic way. In his bio, he wrote, “That picture is of me and my old girlfriend. She’s dead now.”
Photos of dead animals… So many dead animals
Apparently there a lot of fervent deer and turkey hunters living in my neck of the woods. Like, that’s fine, I guess, if that’s your thing (it’s not mine), but must you be holding a decapitated deer head in your Tinder profile? Must you, really?
Drinking and driving
I have absolutely zero tolerance for drinking and driving. That shit is never, ever OK. In the three weeks that I have been on Tinder, I have seen three different profiles that feature photos of young men drinking beer behind the wheel. First of all, why? And second of all, nope.
I’m Canadian, so really the only time I encounter a Confederate flag in my daily life is when I happen to walk by someone wearing an old Lynyrd Skynyrd concert tee. However, I currently live in a city that borders Michigan, so many of my potential Tinder matches are Americans. Some of these Americans, it seems, really like being photographed waving Confederate flags. Now, it’s been a long time since I last studied any American history, but even a quick Google search tells me that someone who’s all about the Confederate flag is probably not someone I want to swipe right on.
This one, sadly, I expected. Any human who has ever accessed the Internet knows there’s so much misogyny online that it’s enough to make you vomit. And scream. And want to throw your cell phone into the ocean. I mean, being up front about your Tinder intentions (ie. “Not looking for anything serious”) is totally fine and encouraged. But being a woman-hating psycho (ie. “Looking for sluts to up my kill count”)? Not so much.
OK, so now that I’ve gotten all of that off of my chest, I do want to say that I have come across some men on Tinder who seem like lovely, totally upstanding citizens. So, you know, #NOTALLMEN! But #SOMEMEN! (#WAYTOOMANYMEN, frankly.) And now I want to know, what you have you come across on Tinder (or any other online dating app or site) that you cannot unsee? Let’s commiserate in the comments section together, shall we?