Author Archives: Jennifer Wright and Ashley Cardiff

A Very Mad Men F*ck, Marry, Kill: Don Draper, Roger Sterling, Pete Campbell

A Very Mad Men F*ck, Marry, Kill: Don Draper, Roger Sterling, Pete Campbell

You may be expecting our regularly scheduled Wednesday episode of Wed Bed Dead. Unfortunately, Jen and Ashley got a little too awesome last night (whiskey) and don’t have one for you. Next week they will! Still, they dragged themselves out from under their oppressive hangovers this morning and made you a Fuck Marry Kill in the old written format, concerning a few of Mad Men‘s main anti-heroes, Don Draper, Roger Sterling and Pete Campbell. More »

Why Do All Famous Women Dress The Same? (Regarding All Those Sparkly Golden Globes Dresses)

Why Do All Famous Women Dress The Same? (Regarding All Those Sparkly Golden Globes Dresses)

Every time Hollywood hosts a big awards show, The Gloss‘ intrepid deputy editor Ashley Cardiff whines about how everything looks the same. EIC Jennifer Wright, however, loves when everyone looks all classically pretty and romantic and soft.

Here, they discuss the omnipresence of Ashley’s much despised Sparkly Neutral Gown, especially among the many Golden Globes dresses. And they wonder, what does it mean to be well dressed on the red carpet? More »

Guess What Taylor Swift Is Hiding Under Her People’s Choice Awards Dress

Guess What Taylor Swift Is Hiding Under Her People's Choice Awards Dress

The People’s Chocie Awards were last night after many long months of people choosing. Sam already provided the necessary red carpet coverage but editors Jennifer Wright and Ashley Cardiff would like to focus on the most “talked about” dress of the evening: the snow white Ralph Lauren ”revenge dress” as worn by Taylor Swift. We have so many feelings! More »

Stay-At-Home Moms Are Prostitutes & Happiness Isn’t Real

Stay-At-Home Moms Are Prostitutes & Happiness Isn't Real

Elizabeth Wurtzel filed a long, rambling confession over at New York this week, entitled Elizabeth Wurtzel Confronts Her One Night Stand of a Life. You’ll have to read it if you expect to follow along, but the gist is this: Elizabeth Wurtzel 1) had a crazy landlord this year, 2) women who don’t pay their own way are prostitutes and 3) there’s no such thing as happiness (?). More »

Our Stupid New Year’s Resolutions

Our Stupid New Year's Resolutions

New Years happened. It was stupid. Like it is, every year. Here at The Gloss, we are professional drinkers and so regard New Years as an acceptable excuse to get drunk at best (but really, to stay in and order takeout). Here, editors Jennifer Wright and Ashley Cardiff discuss their ambivalence about the practice of resolutions, what awful children they were and Michael Crichton.

Also. Hi, Simon Rich! More »

“How Do We Make Men Fight Over Us?”

"How Do We Make Men Fight Over Us?"

Recently, the talented and awesome Jen Dziura filed an excellent piece for the site about how emotions typically associated with men (anger, shouting) aren’t considered emotions, whereas emotions typically associated with women are (moreover, that these kinds are viewed as weaknesses). The post got a lot of love around the internet, but you might never know from the comment thread, which was bombed by too many hateful bros to count… More »

Let’s Win The War On Men!

Let's Win The War On Men!

Today, FOX News filed a rather grave announcement that 1) there’s a war on men, 2) women are losing that war. The reasons for our loss are manifold, but mostly it’s because we’re angry and defensive and have jobs, and feminism has taught us to think of men as the enemy (we share your bewilderment that the term feminazi was not once employed). Ahead, editors Jennifer Wright and Ashley Cardiff parse out the intricacies of this exciting new battle and determine what’s at stake (besides pretty dresses). More »

What Should You Do If Your Friend Has A Drug Problem?

What Should You Do If Your Friend Has A Drug Problem?

Yesterday, the world reeled to learn that Bon Jovi‘s teen daughter had overdosed on heroin in her dorm room at Hamilton College. While it was a little too real for most of us to imagine well-heeled nineteen-year-olds using heroin, it happens more than you want to think. Her friends called the cops–resulting in her arrest–but what other recourse did they have? Editors Jennifer Wright and Ashley Cardiff discuss the tricky business of dealing with a close friend’s drug problem. More »

F*ck, Marry, Kill: Barack Obama. Mitt Romney. …Ron Paul?

F*ck, Marry, Kill: Barack Obama. Mitt Romney. ...Ron Paul?

Guys! Stop wasting time on the internet–go vote! Go be a citizen! Exercise your rights! Then come back and read this extremely probing and serious political discussion in which editors Jennifer Wright and Ashley Cardiff parse the benefits of Fucking, Marrying, or Killing the following politicians: Barack Obama, Mitt Romney and… Ron Paul, for lack of a better choice (after all, he’s always going to be there). Ahead, we consider the consequences of the media’s liberal bias and potentially commit treason. Free speech is awesome! More »

When Should You Introduce Your Significant Other To Your Parents?

When Should You Introduce Your Significant Other To Your Parents?

It’s time-honored ladymag fodder: at what point do you bite the bullet and introduce your bf/gf to mom and dad? Always impressively heteronormative, we decided to let Cosmo weigh in. They suggest: “Meeting your mom is great, because it’s typically an easy way to score points. Your boyfriend knows that as long as he speaks highly of you, asks her questions, and doesn’t accidentally use her drapes as a hand towel, Mom will probably like him. Fathers, however, are another matter. Your dad is a dude and has had sex at least once, which means he knows the kinds of things your boyfriend thinks about and the kinds of things you do with your boyfriend—and your boyfriend knows that your dad knows these things. The result is at least slight discomfort and at worst naked terror, no matter how cool or laid back Dad is. So when they first meet, try not to leave them alone together for any longer than it takes you to pee.”

Well, that illuminated nothing. Here are some actual thoughts… More »