Author Archives: Mommyish

A Ranking Of Easter Candy From Delicious To Disgusting

A Ranking Of Easter Candy From Delicious To Disgusting

Sure, those treats the Easter bunny brings for your children are technically for them. But sharing is an important lesson for kids to learn, so you want candies everyone will enjoy in their baskets come Easter morning. In case you aren’t done shopping for Easter basket goodies and aren’t sure what sweets to include, here’s a ranking of Easter candy from best to worst. More »

Buying Clothes Is Not Fun When Your Daughter Looks Older Than She Is

Buying Clothes Is Not Fun When Your Daughter Looks Older Than She Is

Having a daughter to buy clothes for is supposed to be fun. According to friends of mine with all boys, I am “lucky” to be able to pick out girl outfits. I partly agree — it was fun, until the last year or so. Sadly, my daughter is starting to look much older than her seven years would suggest. Now, I have a whole new set of criteria for what I’m ok with her wearing and it’s made shopping for her not as much fun as it’s supposed to be. More »

Why Do Babies Make Men Babe Magnets, And Women Undateable?

Why Do Babies Make Men Babe Magnets, And Women Undateable?

When a father goes out in public with his child, it is a near certainty that someone (usually a woman) will make an admiring comment about what a “great” job he’s doing or possibly, quietly note how “hot” he is doing it. As a society, we set the bar low for what makes a dad “great” and being a dad makes a man sexier to a great many women. Meanwhile, a mother can perform the exact same feat and she’s either totally overlooked or admonished for some kind of parental wrong-doing. More »

School Airbrushes Student Portraits Without Permission, Thinks Yearbook Is The Cover Of Cosmo

School Airbrushes Student Portraits Without Permission, Thinks Yearbook Is The Cover Of Cosmo

Students and parents at an Australian secondary school were shocked to see that the school took the liberty of authorizing touch-ups on the portraits the 12-17 year-old students sat for. Blemishes, freckles and even piercings magically vanished from the photos. I’m sure they were shocked to find out that some people actually like they way they look — “imperfections” and all. More »

Lego Magazine Thinks 5-Year-Old Girls Need Beauty Tips

Lego Magazine Thinks 5-Year-Old Girls Need Beauty Tips

When kids play with creative toys like Lego bricks, they should be thinking about how to build things creatively or imagining amazing stories to tell about the lives of those little brick dudes and dudettes. What they don’t need to be thinking about is whether their haircut suitably frames the shape of their face, or if they need a headband or barrette to really complete their appearance. More »

I Never Got To Say Goodbye To Alcohol, And Other Confessions Of A Newly Pregnant Person

I Never Got To Say Goodbye To Alcohol, And Other Confessions Of A Newly Pregnant Person

The first thought that popped into my mind when I saw the “positive” sign on my First Response Early Result pee stick? “Wow, so that happened a lot faster than I anticipated.” I was shocked, ecstatic, amazed, and bouncing off the walls. The second thought that occurred to me? “Wow, so now I stop drinking. For a long time. BUT…BUT…BUT I NEVER SAID GOODBYE TO ALL THE WINE.” More »

No, It’s Not Okay To Body Shame A Pregnant Woman With Abs

No, It's Not Okay To Body Shame A Pregnant Woman With Abs

Look, I know what you’re thinking. You’re sitting there thinking there’s no way in the fiery pits of hell that the woman to the left is pregnant. Not only does she not look with child in any way, but she most certainly does not look like she is in her third trimester. Which she is, at 8 months pregnant. I know. I KNOW. Crazy talk, right? I can honestly say I’ve never seen a pregnant woman maintain a six pack, but I guess there’s a first time for everything! More »

An Unplanned Pregnancy Doesn’t Have To Ruin Your Life

An Unplanned Pregnancy Doesn't Have To Ruin Your Life

Growing up in my childhood home I heard a common refrain: don’t get pregnant when you’re young because it will ruin your life. My mom had me at 23 and though she never expressed resentment towards me, I knew she gave up a lot to raise me. I knew her life didn’t look the way she wanted it to look, and I was determined to follow her advice and not make those same mistakes. More »

Celebrating Your Anniversary With Small Kids: Expectations Vs. Reality

Celebrating Your Anniversary With Small Kids: Expectations Vs. Reality

I don’t have high expectations for my wedding anniversaries. I’ve never been the type to demand expensive gifts or elaborate displays of affection. Still, I always assumed anniversaries would be meaningful occasions where both my husband and I would go out of our way to make the day a bit more special. What I didn’t anticipate was how difficult it would be to get five seconds to ourselves once we had babies running around. More »

Shaming Women For Breastfeeding ‘Discreetly’ Is Just As Bad As Telling Them To Cover Up

Shaming Women For Breastfeeding âDiscreetlyâ Is Just As Bad As Telling Them To Cover Up

Public breastfeeding shouldn’t be controversial, but unfortunately we live in a society where it is. Countless times we’ve seen women shamed, asked to cover up, and even asked to leave places for the simple act of breastfeeding an infant. That sort of shaming is hurtful and ignorant. Equally damaging, though, are members of the breastfeeding community who shame ultra-modest women for their feelings about their own breasts and bodies. More »

I’m Giving Up Feminists For Lent

I'm Giving Up Feminists For Lent

In the 90s, I was a feminist dabbler. Much like I watched The Craft and “dabbled” in witchcraft because Fairuza Balk looked wicked. I didn’t “call the corners,” but the message was received: I liked loud, smart, messy women who stood for things. My feminist heroine was actually on heroin and my teachers were concerned enough about myCourtney Love obsession to call my mother — a lost cause if there ever was one. More »

Gross Things All Parents Do But Won’t Admit

Gross Things All Parents Do But Won't Admit

There’s no question that babies can do gross things, yes, even the girl ones. But despite the fact that parents are practically the reason Purell stays in business, we too are guilty of doing things that would make the childfree blush, including those who regularly undertake the trek to Burning Man. While parents love to overshare on Facebook, there are some things not even the boldest among us will confess to on our timelines. Here’s ten gross things all parents do, but will never admit. More »