I recently did an interview in which I was asked how I became such a risk taker, and how other women can become more comfortable with risk.
I gave a long answer. Most of the time we hesitate to take risks, what we’re really afraid of isn’t jail or death: it’s embarrassment, rejection, and the feeling of failure. Those aren’t real things. Or at least you shouldn’t be cowed by them. They’re just feelings. I barely notice most of those feelings because I have a lot of projects going on, and I choose not to indulge unproductive feelings when I could instead be making future plans.
But the other part of my answer — well, I paused as I was saying it and wondered whether to keep saying it. I feel like much of my success has been contingent on doing things young women really shouldn’t do, or shouldn’t do alone. In polite society, we say, “Are you sure that’s safe?” What we really mean is, “You’re likely to get raped. Possibly murdered.”
I think about this every time I read a story about a musician who made a name for himself by traveling around the country and sleeping in his car. Women can’t really sleep in their cars. More »