When I went to the prom, my date pulled out my chair and opened all the doors for me, which is not how I want to live my life, but was cute because we were kids at the prom. More
Author Archives: Jen Dziura
My freshman year in college, I became severely depressed. I’m not especially prone to these things. But it’s not surprising that the confluence of being away from home the first time, having absolutely no time management or schedule-setting ability and thereby sleeping and waking at bizarre hours, and moving from Virginia Beach to a a dark and freezing valley in New England might have some kind of effect. More
Letâ€™s talk about some reasons to work out that have nothing to do with looking hot, keepinâ€™ it tight, having great abs, giving yourself a non-surgical Brazilian butt lift, or feeling superior to other women. More
It’s spring! You could be wiping dust off the baseboards and scrubbing your window screens with a special brush, but I think I have some suggestions you’ll find more relevant. More
I’m a hardworking, highly entrepreneurial woman, and I would like more socialism, please, so I can go about creating jobs. (I’ll explain, stick with me.) More
Earlier this year, Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer, who tells us sheâ€™s not a feminist (and that feminism has become â€śa more negative wordâ€ť), both built herself a nursery in the office and also canceled everyone elseâ€™s work-from-home situations, because water cooler discussions are apparently more valuable than the people who live far from a Yahoo office, have disabilities that make commuting difficult, have babies but arenâ€™t CEO, etc. More
I recently did an interview in which I was asked how I became such a risk taker, and how other women can become more comfortable with risk.
I gave a long answer. Most of the time we hesitate to take risks, what weâ€™re really afraid of isnâ€™t jail or death: itâ€™s embarrassment, rejection, and the feeling of failure. Those arenâ€™t real things. Or at least you shouldnâ€™t be cowed by them. Theyâ€™re just feelings. I barely notice most of those feelings because I have a lot of projects going on, and I choose not to indulge unproductive feelings when I could instead be making future plans.
But the other part of my answer â€” well, I paused as I was saying it and wondered whether to keep saying it. I feel like much of my success has been contingent on doing things young women really shouldnâ€™t do, or shouldnâ€™t do alone. In polite society, we say, â€śAre you sure thatâ€™s safe?â€ť What we really mean is, â€śYouâ€™re likely to get raped. Possibly murdered.â€ť
I think about this every time I read a story about a musician who made a name for himself by traveling around the country and sleeping in his car. Women canâ€™t really sleep in their cars. More
This December, I spent two weeks in a hotel in Florida, mostly by myself, periodically transferring myself from a chaise lounge by the pool to a spot at the hotel bar, wrapped up in thought.
I was partly rewarding myself for churning out another educational book last year (I did a lot of work on this), but I was mostly churning away on a BIG PLAN THAT I WILL TELL YOU ABOUT NOW:
This 2013, I am starting 12 businesses in 12 months. More
At various points, we discussed having a historical ceremony performed by a George Washington impersonator, getting married at sea by a crusty old sea captain according to the laws of the ocean circa 1700, and getting someone to do a secular ceremony in Latin. Maybe something from ancient Rome. These suggestions were not practical. More
I recently spoke at Yale University, where it was icy and Gothic, everyone was very nice and very smart, and I was reminded of what it was like to be 21 and not know how to order a cocktail yet. I was also reminded of what it was like to be able to say, â€śI study literatureâ€ť (or philosophy, or economics) and have that mean basically full-time: I LIVE THE LIFE OF THE MIND. Oh, college!
Specifically, I was the guest at a Masterâ€™s Tea, wherein the master of one of Yaleâ€™s residential colleges chats with a guest about some interesting topic. We drank Earl Grey. It was very civilized. Although the posters for my talk said nothing gender-specific, almost everyone who showed up was female. I just have that vibe, I guess. More
RelpaxÂ®: For women who live in a false dichotomy in which migraines and mopping are the only available options. More
Women do indeed get the worst shit to deal with. In the days before contraception, having a uterus was pretty much a full-time job. A job filled with blood, pain, hormones, and a high probability of death. Had I been born 150 years ago, I would Albert Nobbs myself in a second. I would trade it all for a sundry shop and a stovepipe hat. More
I just had drinks with a friend who is a career coach in her sixties. She hasn’t read any Bullish columns, and when I told her that I often suggest that young women totally forget about work/life balance until at least age 30, she was visibly startled. I told her that it’s hard out there, and if you follow the crowd, there will not be any Social Security for you when you need it, and you don’t want to be in the same boat as the rest of the crowd. I’m not sure she believed me. More
I put out a call on Facebook: “Do I know any transmen who are willing to talk (anonymously is fine) about having access to sexist discussions one would not, as a woman, have access to?” More