Author Archives:

Bitch, Please: The Answer Is Almost Always “Talk To The Person”

Do you have issues with your no-longer-best girlfriend? Is your coworker driving you crazy? Megan Carpentier is here to give you the life advice that you don’t want to hear, told in the way you absolutely need to hear it. More »

Bitch, Please: My Roommate’s A Racist And My Co-Worker Is Macking On Our Intern

Okay, I have no idea what the fuck to do about this. I moved in with a relatively quiet girl from my college earlier this year — we didn’t know each other that well, but we’d both recently moved to the same city and were roommate hunting and mutual acquaintances hooked us up. She seemed pretty normal, she had the money to pay the rent, what could go wrong, right? Wrong. It turns out she was a majorly closeted conservative and super-judgmental, which was bad enough to deal with (if I wanted someone to bitch about my cleavage and short skirts, I’d still live with my mom). But last week I had a little dinner party with 3 friends (a girl and two guys) and she left to give us some space only to come back at the end and flip her shit because one of my guests was black. More »

Bitch, Please: What To Do With A Friend Who Hates Your Boyfriend

My best friend “Eve” hates my boyfriend. She says she doesn’t hate him, hate him, she just doesn’t really like him. Of course, she expresses “not really liking him” by pointedly ignoring him when she can, tearing him down when she can’t ignore him and generally treating him as though he shit on the floor at the party. Of course, she denies that it’s about him and keeps hinting it’s about how he treats me, but she never comes out and says it. What do I do? More »

Bitch, Please: Taking Sides In A Friend Break-Up And Friends’ Break-Ups

There’s been some drama in my group of friends, and I’m not sure what I should do. I have a couple of close friends that I’ve known for ages, we all moved to [redacted] after graduation to take jobs in the same industry, which is a pretty small circle where we live, so most of the people around our age all socialize together after work. But most of them are a couple years older than the three of us and they’re pretty cliquey, so it can be hard to really feel like a part of the group or get invited to the non-networking social events, but for the last few months, they’ve been inviting me. More »

Bitch, Please: Yes, Your Friend Is Too Good To Stay With An Abuser

A good friend of mine began seriously dating a very shy boy I knew from classes a while ago. At first, I acted happy for her, since I was certain it wouldn’t last long, but the first thing that bothered me was when he moved in with her. She’s a hardworking student, whereas he’d never (and still hasn’t) held a job in his life. At first I merely disapproved of the obvious codependency, but then, during a visit to her house, he began making crude remarks about their sex life. When she asked him to stop, he started hitting her in front of me! The more she asked him to stop, the more he hit her, until finally I broke out of my shocked stupor and intervened. After that, I wasn’t invited to her house ever again. When I asked her why not, she replied, “He’s just not comfortable with you around.” He’s not comfortable! The more that I hear about their relationship, the more I can’t believe what she’s putting up with! More »

Bitch, Please: What Can You Do When Your Friend Is ‘The Other Woman’?

Last night, over drinks, my friend “Ann” told me she was seeing this amazing guy, and spent I swear an entire hour gushing about how sweet he is, and how attentive he is, and how respectful he is and, of course, how hot the sex is. There was a lot about how how the sex is. And then when she was done describing how great his penis was, the other shoe dropped: he’s married.

He’s not married and in an open relationship or something, and I know because the following 30 minutes she spent talking about what a bitch his wife supposedly is, how she let herself go after they got married, how she hates sex, how they fight all the time, how they’re only together for the kids, how if his wife wasn’t so terrible he would never cheat, and on and on and on. And she expects me to be supportive and hate on the wife with her and tell her how great it is that she’s happy… but I can’t. My last boyfriend cheated on me for ages and I heard back from people that (minus the kids and the fat part) he said all that same shit about me. I don’t want to be a huge bitch to my friend, but I seriously can’t sit through another conversation like that again. More »