actresses without teeth

Have you seen “Actresses Without Teeth?” Right, you’re going to want to. Here’s a pretty good summary of them. People have been talking about how seeing their favorite actresses (like Reese Witherspoon, above) without teeth is horrifying, and I wondered, why? I mean, obviously, nice teeth are important in terms our attraction to someone, but what about this makes it the worst thing you’ve ever seen? Here’s why:

1) It suddenly makes you think that they are ancient, immortal demons. Generally we do not lose our teeth until we’re very old (dentures, one day you too will get dentures) so the contrast of their youthful faces and total lack of teeth is awful.

2) It suddenly makes you think they are babies, and it is awful to see babies doing adult things.

3) Are they diseased? Disease is another thing that could make your teeth fall out. Awful diseases.

4) Have they been abused? Did someone brutally punch out every single one of their teeth?

5) Do they come from a place where the dental care is insufficient to insure that people have all their teeth? England? Hahaha, no, that was a terrible joke. That was an Austin Powers joke, mostly.

6) Everyone has a nightmare about their teeth falling out, right? I think it’s supposed to mean that you’re worried about being embarrassed in a social situation. This picture is your nightmare made real.

7) I no longer want to kiss Reese Witherspoon. Not even a little bit.

8) It seems like they’re just trying so hard to put on a brave face, despite whatever terrible thing that happened to them that you just FEEL HORRIBLE.

9) They all look like Muppets, now.

10) Everyone hates Muppets, apparently.

Picture via Instagram