There is a post over on XOJane entitled “Barbie Made Me Ashamed To Have Nipples.”
Oh, yes, there is, don’t shake your head skeptically like that. The author explains:
Barbie looks so pretty without them. So smooth. So uniform. Wouldn’t I be prettier, I thought, if I just had two ample mounds with no peachy-pink… tips?
I wondered this well past the playing-with-dolls age and well into boobedness…
It wasn’t long before I started to understand their pleasurable benefits, but I was still convinced that my nipples, which are textbook average looking, were essentially deformities. I understood that everyone has them, but they still made me very anxious and uneasy.
Barbie gets a lot of flack for making people feel ashamed of a lot of things, so I thought I might tell you some of the things Barbie made me proud of. These things, basically:
- The fact that no giant could pick me up and toss me down the stairs at will.
- My effortless ability to move my arms at the elbow. I can pick things up and everything!
- Likewise my ability to bend at the knees. I just extended my knee like magic!
- My ability to regrow hair if it was “accidentally” chopped off (by willful giants).
- My house that was entirely enclosed, not open for everyone to see. Even now, well past playing with dolls age, I love that no one observes me in my apartment except the people in the office building across the street, who I think are watching me right now.
- Waving to them!
- Maybe number five was an overstatement. Maybe I still need to work on not living in what is essentially an ant farm.
- Ability to flee people who wanted to scalp me (giants, again, always the ability to flee giants, I am proud of that every single day)
- Having goddamn nipples like a human being.
- Being a human being and not a piece of plastic.
Picture via Amazon