It’s one vagina trend after another around these lady parts recently—some might even say we’re living in the golden age of vagina trends. In the past week, we’ve brought you news of vagina steaming and labia dyeing, and there’s a great round up of vagina pampering options over at our sister site, Blisstree. These vaginas just can’t get enough.
Since vaginas/vulvas are having such a moment, we got to thinking about what might be next in store for our parts. Here’s 10 vagina trends of the future, coming to a vagina inside you soon.
- Ombre Pubic Hair – Ombre has been the hottest trend in hair care for about six centuries now, so why would we insist on keeping that on our heads like selfish pigs? This is objectively the best thing you can do for your pubic hair, if you have it.
- Rug Bug* – The number one device in vaginal surveillance. This is the only way to surveil your own vagina.
- Vaginamins – Vaginas benefit from vitamins as much as the next guy, so let’s target them with some special vagina-centric vitamins. These look just like the Flintstone’s gummies but you take them by shoving them up there.
- Vaginaerobics – An instructor-lead, group exercise class where a group of vagina-havers lie on mats and do synchronized kegels. Alternate title: Soul Menstrual Cycle.
- Vag Light – This detachable vagina light can be used to ward off attackers or to illuminate your path home. When not in use, it sits comfortably in your vagina and can function as a menstrual cup.
- Vulva Masks – Specialized masks for all of your vulva needs. You can put cucumbers on your eyeballs or butthole if you want to feel especially luxurious.
- Vulva Cozies – This isn’t even close to being the same thing as underpants, so don’t even start. Vulva cozies are specific to when your lady parts are cold and the rest of you is warm. Available on Etsy, exclusively.
- Pubic Braids – If you’re rocking pubes, at the very least learn how to French braid. Then move into the the waterfall braid and fishtail. Work your way up to the vaginal crown braid. You deserve it.
- Vagina Dance Moves – I shouldn’t even have to explain this to you but I will: these are dance moves that only use your vagina. Soon to be a craze that will sweep the nation.
- Vagina-Only Spas – I envision these as a one stop vagina shop, but feel free to jump in with whatever you think this will entail. Vagina-only spas will offer all vaginal trends in one convenient place–steaming, adorning, dyeing, exercising, styling, and gynecology.
So what do you think our vaginas are in for next?
*Submitted by Blisstree Editor/genius Joanna Rafael.
Photo: Red Canna, 1924 by Georgia O’Keeffe