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I’m not so great at applying my own makeup, but I do enjoy watching makeup tutorials out there on YouTube. Archival site Glamour Daze recently posted this restored film of a 1969 makeup tutorial and it’s a gem. It’s not so much that all of the advice is outdated (I’ve heard a lot of it before here in the new millenium) or even always bad advice, but this voiceover just has some great passive-aggressive and condescending remarks tucked in there. Please note that is “great” in the eye-rolling sense.

A few of my favorites:

On the importance of sleep: “Incidentally, no amount of eye makeup will help if your eyes are drowsy and lackluster.” Yes, I know I should sleep more, but can we get cut a little slack for being busy?

On lips: “If you prefer not to wear a lipstick, do wear a lip gloss.” NEITHER IS NOT AN OPTION HERE.

On your face: “Take advantage of what’s there. Accentuate the good points. Minimize the others.” I feel like there has to be a more encouraging way of expressing this point.

On eyeliner: “Remember, black can only be worn by girls with very black hair.” Do not heed her advice, and the makeup police may come after you for this infraction.

Watch above and pick your favorite! Let’s also ponder how this woman probably had no idea we’d all be watching her apply her makeup more than 40 years later. That crazy Internet…