Would you like to know what kind of hair men like? Long, silky hair. All the way down your back like some beautiful waterfall of keratin. You know who follows that sort of advice? People who love Cosmopolitan and want to get married very, very badly. Also, sheep. Are you a sheep? I didn’t think so. We asked some dude friends which hairstyles they hated the most, and then came up with reasons you should get them regardless. Because we are not sheep. We are pageboy sporting dragons.