amy poehler mean girls

(GIF: Tumblr)

Hi, hello, how are you all doing. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been writing this column for exactly two months. I mean, obviously you haven’t noticed, because I haven’t received a celebratory cake in the mail, but, like, whatever, it’s not like I’m bitter or anything. Anyway, since we’ve hit the two-month mark, it seems like an appropriate time to check in with all of you and discuss the progress of this whole experience, what’s been working, what hasn’t been, and what’s different this time around. LET’S GET TO IT.

(Related: The Discussions About ‘Getting Your Body Ready For The Beach’ Aren’t Empowering, They’re Shaming)

So, here’s where we started:

Weight: Nunya business

Size: Medium/8

And, two months later, here’s where we’re at:

Weight: Still really nunya business

Size: Small/Medium, 6/8

Again, sizes all depend on the stores I go to and the type of clothes I try on. I still am (and probably will always be unless I make some serious lifestyle changes in the coming month) a Size 8 in jeans. While I’ve noticed my waistline getting smaller as I’ve been more careful about what I’m eating and getting more physically active, I can’t seem to do much about my hips and butt. But(t?), as my mom told me a few weeks ago while we were hanging out in a dressing room and I was trying on a cotton midi dress at Madewell that I declared made me “look like a rhombus,” I am a woman, I have hips and curves, and that’s just the way it is.

Actually, the past few months have made me appreciate the way my body is naturally more than ever. Sure, I may still feel uncomfortable in anything remotely body con, but I can rock a high waist bikini like nobody’s business, what with the whole aforementioned slowly-decreasing waistline/big hips combo.

But, still, I can’t help but compare this weight loss experience with the very successful one I had back in college. Back then, I lost close to 15 pounds in one summer, whereas, in the same span of time, I’d be pretty surprised if I lost more than five overall, considering the way my weight seems to have been fluctuating. So, what’s different this time around?

Well, for one thing, I’ve got a full time job (AT LONG LAST!). Back in the summer before my sophomore year of college, I was just a camp counselor, and it was admittedly easier to find the time and energy to haul my ass to the gym when I got home from work at 4:15 and had very few friends around to hang out with. Now, even with the gym I attend located just a few blocks away from my office, it’s hard to juggle exercise with my social life and, honestly, just wanting to get home in time to have dinner, take a shower, and watch maybe an hour of brain-numbing TV before getting to bed a sensible hour. So, in that sense, working out is a lot more of a chore than it was back then. Also, this is still pretty much my general attitude toward exercise:

matt bellassai

(GIF: Giphy)

For another, I was doing Weight Watchers that one summer. Now, this article is in no way sponsored by them, but Weight Watchers was probably the key component in my weight loss that summer. It taught me how to eat, how to pay attention to what I was eating, and just served as a general reminder that I was actively trying to lose weight without nagging me like a trainer or dietitian might. This time around, I’m doing it on my own, and while I know what’s good for me and what isn’t, and generally adhere to healthy-eating practices, I find it hard to deny myself the occasional Seamless order of chicken fingers or the slice of Artichoke pizza. Because I’m a human being who likes chicken fingers and Artichoke pizza. Sue me. 

(Related: How To Deal With Your Wardrobe When You’re In The Process Of Losing Weight)

So, while there are plenty of times when I’m lying in bed watching Netflix or an episode of Pretty Little Liars thinking, “Man, I could look like that if I just did this, that, or the other thing, maybe I should run out and buy free weights, or maybe put that yoga mat that’s been rolled up in the corner for a month to good use,” I’ll admit that it’s difficult to have the same enthusiasm toward getting back to where I was weight-wise when it’s not the only thing on my mind. Whereas all I had to do when I got home that summer a few years back was worry about getting to the gym and having a healthy dinner, now I think about catching up on shows, catching up with my friends, dating, making sure I have food in the fridge, and getting enough sleep to function every day. And I think that’s the major difference: I’m more of an adult now than I was back then, and adulting is hard.

That said, I’m not giving up. It’s not hard for me to just pack a gym bag every night and stick it next to my work bag and go to the gym for at least 30 minutes, so I’m going to start doing that again (it was going great for a while there). It’s not hard (albeit a little bit pricey) to start trying out fitness classes that I would have to pay to cancel, so I’ll start doing that again. And it’s not hard to stop order Seamless every weekend, so I’ll try to stop doing that, too. I said “try,” okay?

But enough about me. I want to hear from any of you who are trying to lose weight and get back in shape too! How have things been going for youWhat do you do when the going gets tough? Let me know in the comments!