Dear Minnie Mouse,
GOOD GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOURSELF?
Look, I think this is partly my fault. I haven’t been there for you. How many years has it been Minnie? God, a lot. Too many, I guess. I know that you probably feel like I – and everyone – kicked you to the curb when they turned 8. And I know that you want to find a way to get our attention back.
But, Minnie, you can’t act out this way. You can’t act out this way because it’s not good for you.
I know that you want to be a sophisticate. I know that because the Forever21 press release about the Minnie Mouse collection says so. According to Jezebel, it says: