It’s called babyface. If you have it, you’ll understand.
I’m 24 years old, but you probably wouldn’t know it if you looked at me. I’ve had salesmen ask me if my parents are home. I’ve had people ask me if I remember George W. Bush. I’ve surprised people by being able to name the fourth member of Destiny’s Child. From time to time, sure, it can be a blessing to look youthful, but these round cheeks have betrayed me more times than I can count. Here are 10 annoying things you’ll only understand if you look younger than you really are.
1. Seeing that skeptical look in a bartender’s eye like he thinks you’re a high schooler who snuck in.
And then being like, Great. I have to order something really adult like a shot of whiskey or something so he doesn’t think I’m 14. I don’t want a shot of whiskey. I should start bringing my high school diploma with me on nights out. The struggle.
2. Having people at work assume you’re an intern. Or you’re at take-your-daughter-to-work day.
You’re not above getting coffee for the other employees, but are they aware that you’re not a teenager? You pay bills! You have responsibilities! You’re old!
3. Having to dress older to be taken seriously.
4. Getting carded at R-rated movies.
Okay, okay, so this sounds kind of like a humblebrag (“My skin is so youthful! It’s a horrible problem in my life!”), but it can be pretty embarrassing when the cashier thinks your date is your stepdad.
5. Getting taken advantage of by anyone who wants to fix your car or do your plumbing.
Do not ask me if my mother is home. Do not ask me if this is going on my dad’s credit card. Do not ask me if I’m planning on going to college. Do not explain to me what the parking brake is. Just do your job, please.
6. Having to work extra hard to pull off looking sexy.
Not only is “jailbait” a disgusting concept, but it empirically does NOT apply to you. If you have a degree, if you’ve been menstruating for twelve years, if you’re registered to vote, you should be able to wear a tight skirt without looking like you’re playing dress-up.
7. Getting patronizing comments or looks whenever you’re doing something “young.”
8. Having to work harder to prove your womanness.
Heels are kind of the worst. Not wearing blouses with little horses all over them is kind of the worst. Having to be extra conscious of your posture, hairstyle, and makeup is kind of the worst.
9. Realizing that people assume you don’t know about anything that happened before 2005.
Yes, I’ve heard of President Carter. I know who Princess Diana is, yes, and I’ve seen Fight Club and Sixteen Candles. Why is this conversation even happening?
10. Having to keep in mind that some people would give anything to look as young as you.
FINE. I’LL TRY TO ENJOY IT. JUST LET ME HAVE THIS MOMENT OF GRIEF, OKAY?
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