There are plenty of cliches out there about blondes: that they’re dumb, that they have more fun, and so on. But something calling itself the International Association of Blondes. The site, which can be read in English, Latvian, Bulgarian, or Russian, is here. I really can’t explain the gloriousness of it, but I can post parts of the “Oath of Blondes.”

  • To keep my hair blond, my skirt short, my legs long, and my eyes blue – like radical fighting weapon of the association. (And what “association” is that, pray tell?)
  • To don’t strain my mind, so my hair won’t get black. (Thinking gives you wrinkles, too!)
  • To don’t forget my skills from high school and the university. (Is one of those skills grammar?)
  • To don’t forget what blondes are doing on the ocean’s bottom. (Wait, I have no idea what this is about. Is it because I’m a brunette? What are blondes doing on the ocean’s bottom? Does this have to do with that old blonde joke about how if you want to drown a blonde you put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a swimming pool?)
  • To tell a lie at least once per day. (Is one of the lies about your natural hair color?)
  • I swear never forget. (Wait, is this about the Holocaust? Or just something normal like your keys?)