Want a prettier nose? Don’t want a nose job? Why don’t you just cram a piece of plastic up there? NoseSecret promises to “Straight a crooked nose, enhance beauty of ethnic nose (Asian nose, black, Hispanic, etc.), Lift tip to ease hump (prominence) on middle area.” And so much more! But how? According to their website:

By touching the nose, one can notice that the upper side of the nose is hard and inflexible until just past the middle area. Toward the tip of the nose, the nasal septum is composed of a flexible connective tissue called cartilage that create the shape of the nose. The tip of the nose is where NoseSecret works.

In conclusion: your nose is ugly and has a hump that needs easing. You’re going to put some plastic in there every day, and it’s going to force your nostrils up so high that strangers will be able to see your brain every time you pass by. And then maybe someone will love you.