werewolf diet

He’s angry because he’s on a juice cleanse.

Werewolves are so hot right now. (I’m not being facetious. All I want to do right now is skip out on work and go catch up on Teen Wolf.) So are juice fasts. But sometimes trends collide in weird and extremely stupid ways, which is how we wound up in a world where the “Werewolf Diet” exists.

When I first heard of this I was optimistic, because I thought the Werewolf Diet would comprise mostly piña coladas and beef chow mein. Unfortunately it does not, and now I’m hungry.

According to the Daily Mail, the Werewolf Diet holds that people should consume nothing but juice on during the new moon and the full moon, so the moon’s gravitational pull will lift the weight right off you. The Daily Mail’s Katy Winter writes:

Though there are numerous variations of the diet, they essentially involve a liquid cleanse for a few days of the month; either at the full moon, new moon or beginning of a moon phase.

Fans of the diet claim the moon exerts the same gravitational pull on the water in our bodies as it does on the world’s oceans.

They claim this pull is biggest during a full and new moon, and undergoing a liquid fast during this time will enable the moon to flush toxins out of the body aiding weight-loss.

It should be clarified that even the Daily Mail thinks this diet is effing stupid. That’s just one of many signs that this diet is a dumb idea. As Blisstree’s Joanna Rafael points out, this is just an undeservedly cool name for a “multiple day juice cleanse based on the lunar calendar.”

According to the Moon Diet page by MoonConnection.com,

Consuming more fluids will call on the power of the moon, stimulate renal activity, and allow your body to lose its excess water. This flushes out the toxins that accumulate in the body due to unhealthy foods, bad digestion, and stress, and provides a detoxifying effect that will strengthen your immune system.

To be fair to the moon people, that does not sound much more vague or unscientific than Gwyneth Paltrow’s winter detox plan.

Presumably between giggles, the Daily Mail’s health experts said that while juice fasting during the full moon was not likely to hurt a person unless they took the fast too long, it “offers very little in the way of actual effectiveness.” There is no evidence that the moon affects the water in your body, and even if it did there is no reason that fasting during the full moon would make a person lose weight.

Moon Diet advocates say it has the potential to make you lose 6 pounds in a single day. We’re pretty sure the only good thing that can make you actually lose 6 pounds in a day is childbirth.

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