Let’s be honest for a moment: celebrities are weird. A few of them seem to be a little less weird (I imagine the cast of It’s Always Sunny is shockingly normal) but for the most part, they’re strange. Whenever they would have you believe their lives are normal, even for a minute, it’s news like that of the Brandi Glanville Eddie Cibrian saga that just keeps on coming to remind us that famous people are totally not normal human beings.
In her new book, Drinking & Tweeting and Other Brandi Blunders, Glanville recounts a little story about how she used her ex’s credit card to buy herself vaginal rejuvenation surgery after he cheated on her, because that’s a totally rational way of dealing with betrayal, I guess. She writes, “I would ask Eddie from time to time if my vagina was the same after childbirth. He always said yes, except once. He was actually quite vulgar.”
After their separation, Cibrian and Glanville fought about finances and he wound up cutting her off. As payback, she “decided that since Eddie ruined my vagina for me, he could pay for a new one.” Uhm, I think it’s sort of a big step to say that he “ruined” your vagina; that’s dangerously close to implying your child is a mistake or somehow to blame here.
Glanville got the surgery, being the very logical person she is, but Cibrian saw the evidence soon after. “A week after the vaginal rejuvenation surgery, he was on the phone screaming, ‘What the f–k cost you $12,000? Did you get a nose job?’ I responded simply, ‘Yes. A nose job.’ And I hung up.” Okay. So. You charged several thousand dollars to your ex’s bank account, got vaginal rejuvenation surgery, decided to talk about it publicly but lied to him anyway? Odd. Also, though the story sounds rather plausible due to the whole “celebrities are insane” thing, I find it a bit questionable that her surgeon didn’t seem to care that she was using her estranged husband’s credit card for $12,000, but c’est la vie.
What’s odd is that when it comes to infidelity, I typically sympathize with whomever has been cheated on and has been plagued with that particularly horrible brand of stress; now, I am instead feeling a little sorry for Cibrian because charging $12,000 to a person’s account is a ridiculous way of retaliating. Plus, she’s just a generally terrible writer, but I have a feeling the same book club who read Snooki’s autobiography will be checking out this one, and they’re doubtfully selective about quality.
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