Coffee breath is gross. I don’t know why, but the scent of coffee from a mug or a freshly brewed pot is way different than when it comes from someone’s dirty, germy mouth. But apparently I’m the odd girl out, because according to a study conducted by AXE and the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation (such a place does exist), the women of New York City are most allured to the aroma of coffee no matter where it is coming from. Soon, men all across Manhattan will be drinking as much coffee as the Swedes just to attract more girls’ attentions. (I say that because I’m tremendously addicted to Steig Larsson’s Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series and am amazed by how much caffeine Swedish people drink on a daily basis in the book. Also, if you haven’t read any of the books, do it … now.)

The study also found that in Chicago, women love the scent of vanilla and in Los Angeles they can’t resist the smell of lavender. The attraction to these smells I can agree with. Perhaps I’ll move there if all the guys in LA and Chicago smell as glorious as these two aphrodisiacs. However, the women of San Diego and Minneapolis may need to get their olfactory bulbs checked because they prefer the smells of sun tan lotion and freshly cut grass (respectively). I just don’t get it. Why are we attracted to such specific odors? Unless everyone in San Diego uses Banana Boat suntan lotion (mmm coconut), these women are nuts. The smell of suntan lotion reminds me of sweat and salt, both very unattractive scents especially when meshed together. Thinking about the smell of freshly cut grass just makes me think of pastures and then the stench of a barn. Maybe my my free association is screwed up.

I’m assuming that since AXE conducted this survey, perhaps they were also doing some market research to see what new products to come out with. I’m suggesting right here and now (this is to you, AXE) to not produce any deodorant or cologne of the like that smells like coffee. I love coffee and I do love the smell of coffee, especially after a really, really long night. I just don’t love the smell of coffee on people. Also, you can go ahead and refrain from making that suntan lotion deodorant. Unless you team up with Banana Boat.

Here’s a look at what other smells women in cities across the country are attracted to: