No one can seem to figure out what size Marilyn Monroe was. Maybe she was an 8, maybe she was a 4, maybe she was whatever Christina Hendricks is. She was some sort of a size. It was a good size. We’re pretty sure that if you follow her diet perfectly (as seen in The Bombshell Manual of Style) you’ll look exactly like her. And you’ll be hopped up on eggnog every night, which is awesome:

Morning:

Orange juice or stewed prunes

Cereal

2 slices of crisp toast with butter

1 cup of milk or cocoa

Snack

1 cup of milk, 1 cracker

Lunch

1 egg any style or 2 tablespoons of cottage cheese

1 potato (baked or mashed) or spaghetti (no cheese) or 1/2 a cup of noodles (no cheese)

1 slice of stale toast or bread with butter

Jello or cooked fruit

Snack

1 cup of milk and cracker

Dinner

Lean beef, or chicken, or lamb chop, or sweetbreads, or fish, or chicken liver

1 potato (any way but fried)

1/2 cup of tomatoes or beets, or carrots, or spinach, or string beans, or peas (pureed or strained)

1 slice of bread with butter

Dessert

Junket or custard or tapioca or rice pudding or baked apple

Double Plus Dessert

Eggnog.