This woman wants you to know she is prettier than you

Sometimes, I think it’s possible that we dislike women because they are much more beautiful than us. And sometimes I think we dislike them because they are awful. This is one of the latter times.

Samantha Bick’s article for The Daily Mail begins:

On a recent flight to New York, I was delighted when a stewardess came over and gave me a bottle of champagne.

‘This is from the captain — he wants to welcome you on board and hopes you have a great flight today,’ she explained.

You’re probably thinking ‘what a lovely surprise’. But while it was lovely, it wasn’t a surprise. At least, not for me.

Well, yippee for you. I’ve sat here for five minutes and it is impossible to make a joke about this, because it’s already too many jokes. She should have just ineptly popped that bottle and sprayed it around the cabin, bathing herself in champagne bubbles like Venus rising from the depths.

Another time, as I was walking through London’s Portobello Road market, I was tapped on the shoulder and presented with a beautiful bunch of flowers. Even bar tenders frequently shoo my credit card away when I try to settle my bill.

And whenever I’ve asked what I’ve done to deserve such treatment, the donors of these gifts have always said the same thing: my pleasing appearance and pretty smile made their day.

When did unabashed gloating become journalism? I guess I just don’t understand, because…

You’d think we women would applaud each other for taking pride in our appearances.

I work at mine — I don’t drink or smoke, I work out, even when I don’t feel like it, and very rarely succumb to chocolate. Unfortunately women find nothing more annoying than someone else being the most attractive girl in a room

They more find articles written about being the most attractive woman in the room irritating, actually. That is mostly what bothers people.

Really, read the entire thing here. All I’m getting out of this is that captains on British airlines are incredibly considerate and we should all fly on them and demand champagne immediately.