It’s only because it wants more of you to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony!

Or maybe – according to this study – it is the full pound of M&Ms you are eating nightly with Diet Coke that is making fat. Perhaps that is the problem. According to That’s Fit, people who drink a lot of diet soda have an increased likelihood of being obese. However, they also state:

People mistakenly equate drinking diet soda to actually being on a diet. If you rationalize a liquid calorie savings as a license to gorge, there’s little chance you’ll keep your weight under control for very long. I once had a client who drank a 64-ounce bottle of Diet Coke and ate a one-pound bag of M&Ms almost every night. She used to tell me it wasn’t so bad because the soda contained no calories. Then I explained to her that she was eating more than 2,300 calories. In one sitting. Every night.

So, eat less M&Ms and drink as much 0 calorie soda as you want. Go crazy.

(It is possible I’m giving you bad advice, because the article also speculates that Diet Soda might be a vile, evil nectar and I have already had 3 just to wake up, so evil is just pulsing through my veins right now. Like I’m a Bond villain.)