Looks like a stellar meal to me.

Since we’re talking about being adults, one of the many adult things I’ve yet to learn is grocery shopping. I don’t know why, but I just can’t do it.

This morning I went to the local, well, I don’t know what they would call it down here — it was something between a bodega and a grocery store — to get some items to keep in my cottage for the last few days I’m here in Key West. I can’t eat out all the time, so I figured I needed to get some sundries to sustain myself. My intention was to buy eggs and some vegetables to cook with those eggs. As you can see in the above photo, I did not do that.

I bought the water, because once I got there and had lost about five pounds of weight thanks to the humidity, the water was necessary. I bought the Snapple because I needed caffeine and trying to find an iced-coffee in these parts is a near-impossible task. As for those key lime coconut patties, that’s my second package. I didn’t eat the first one, nor do I intend to eat the second, but because they’re bizarre I’m going to mail them to my nephews and let them try them. Where are the eggs I was going to buy? Still at the store somewhere.

Unfortunately, this is how I always shop when it comes to groceries. If I’m not having it delivered and can go line after line on a website picking out what I want or need, I will end up with this kind of stuff. Then I go home, stare at it and wonder why it’s so difficult to just buy some fucking food. Basically, each grocery shopping trip ends up in me having my next meal delivered. And that technique, of course, just ends up burning a hole in your wallet and when you have friends over you have nothing to offer for snacks. I’m thinking only a stoner would eat those key lime coconut patties.

Does anyone else have this problem? And if you know of a class I could take to fix it that would be great, too.