As the cast of “Jersey Shore” begins to realize that their blazing star of glory will eventually fall from the heavens and they will descend back into ruin or “Celebrity Rehab,” each of the Macaroni Rascals seems to be trying to figure out how to best capitalize on their fleeting fame. The Situation is clearly leading the (six)-pack, with his iPhone app taking off and his t-shirt being the hottest thing on the boardwalk (I would imagine).

As for the ladies, Snooki is writing a book, and JWOWW was featured in Maxim over the summer, which I think means something good for her career but I’m not sure what that is.

So what’s left for little Sammi? I’ll tell you what — hair extensions. According to an interview with, Ms. Giancola wants to be the next celebrity after Jessica Simpson to release her own line of weaves, so that you, too, have something to absent-mindedly pet and also cry into as you break up and get back together with your abusive boyfriend 72 times. Here’s her semi-announcement:

“I just feel like I’m at a whole different level and it’s amazing for the opportunities to just meet people and just let myself out there. I’d love to get into fashion and designing hair extensions and hair products.”

I don’t know what qualifies Sammi to design hair extensions other than the fact that she has them, and by that logic JWOWW should be allowed to design breast implants, but whatever. I assume Sammi “Sweetheart” will find her own Ken Paves who she will eventually drag around the world on their own humiliatingly vapid reality show and then publicly defriend. Or at least — I hope she will.