ear job plastic surgery

No, you do not.

But one is available to you! Because your saggy earlobes are making you look like a crone. The Daily Mail reports:

Saggy earlobes are as much of a giveaway of ageing as a turkey neck. ‘It is no secret that more women are having what could be called a “lobe job”,’ says Wendy Lewis, cosmetic surgery adviser and editor of beautyinthebag.com. ‘Gravity takes its toll on earlobes — they droop like chins and breasts do, and can make you look older.

Fortunately, there is now “ a method of cutting, trimming and re-attaching the earlobe that leaves almost no scar.”

Or you could not wear heavy earrings. There are options. Or, best of all, you could just not spend a ridiculous amount of time and money worrying about your earlobes, because they are earlobes, and this is ridiculous. But then, I suppose doing that would hinge upon the notion that there are some parts of your body that do not need to be youthful and beautiful all the time, and that, of course, is a false notion. I’m off to dip my elbows in an enormous vat of body butter, now.