Oh, gosh, first people snorting bath salts, now this.

I know that soap has a very appealing shape, and it can smell nice. Not all the time. Sometimes it smells like vanilla. Sometimes it just smells like soap. That said, I don’t really understand the the 19 year old with the bizarre compulsion that causes her to eat soap. She claims:

College was five hours away from my family, and the stress got bigger. With no boyfriend and my family miles away, I got lonely, sad and depressed. I turned to bath soap and laundry detergent and my problem got increasingly worse…I dabbed the powder onto my tongue and it tasted so sweet, and salty…it just felt so right. I was hooked straight away.’

I wish something made me feel that way. But not soap, because eating that stuff can kill you.

Still, if Ashley and I start snorting bath salts, we’re going to follow it up with eating some soap, in the hopes that our lowered stress levels will mean less murderous, violent hallucinations. Our lives are going to be one long cycle of hallucinations, calming soap eating and cleanliness. Cleanliness inside. I’d say we’ll let you know when you start, but the murderously violent, frothy posts will probably tip you off.