Recently, we were in an elevator with two women discussing Fifty Shades of Grey. One had finished it, we deduced, and the other was nearing the end. The one still torturing her brain admitted she’d been skipping pages, saying, “It just gets so repetitive. They keep doing the same stuff over and over.” To which her companion shook her head gravely, like fucking Socrates, and said, “You have to read between the lines.” This destroyed us for five solid minutes.

Oh, and Bobbi Brown made some makeup inspired by everybody’s favorite BDSM wonderland of facile human relationships. “When Did Grey Get So Naughty?” the website asks. There’s a few one-off metallic pots, some creme shadows and an eye palette. You can pair this with your Marc New York dress, your Papyrus scroll or your lobotomy.

(Bobbi Brown)