Boobs.

We are a society are fairly obsessed with them, and there’s no denying that—in pop culture, at least—it seems that bigger is better. Recently, however, Disney made headlines with a casting announcement for the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie detailing: ‘Must have real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants.’ Meanwhile, pneumatic celebrities like Heidi Montag, Pamela Anderson and England’s Jordan (Katie Price) are ridiculed for their inflated fun bags. And, according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, the number of breast enhancements actually fell last year.

Could it be: bigger is better…but real is best?

As a completely flat-chested gal myself—I mean, we’re talking mosquito bite-sized, too small to fit into a training bra here—I’ve always romanticized the idea of bigger breasts. D cup? No thanks. Fitting comfortably into a B? Dare to dream! But as much as I personally would love my mini-booblets to catch up to the rest of my body, the idea of going under the knife is less than appealing. (I’m waiting for US clinical trials to begin on Macrolane, a hyaluronic acid filler approved in the UK that lasts 12 – 18 months.) After all, not only do implants seem painful, but I’ve always worried about the message choosing to have the surgery would send.

So, on the heels of last’s week question about face versus body (guys mostly chose body, of course), I wondered: how do guys (and gals) really feel about implants?

The guys say:

Eric: I am vehemently opposed to voluntary breast augmentation. They are, however, a great dowsing rod for those guys interested in prying on women with low self esteem. Life seems to work out though since those dudes more than likely LOVE “fake tits” and the girls that they are prying on probably love attention from sketchy dudes.

Stan: I like things natural, but subtle implants that are done right can be a plus. That said, small and natural is way, way better than huge or misshaped or weird. This guy’s opinion: natural is better. I’ve never met a natural breast that I don’t like but have been really scared away by a bad boob job.

James: I personally do not like breast implants AT ALL. I’ve never liked the idea that there are artificial bags of saline sitting underneath skin and/or muscle tissue. I used to understand and be empathetic to women who wanted increased self-confidence but I believe that it’s gone too far and is out of control. Women who have suffered from mastectomies, well, that’s one thing but women who just lack self-confidence because our society tells women how they should look, that’s another thing. I would rather be with a self confident woman with a flat chest than an insecure woman with perfect breasts. Too many women these days are feeling the societal pressures to look good and will do whatever it takes to meet those imposed standards. I find myself not as interested in those women. So no, I hate fake breasts. I’ve dated a couple women that had them and could never get beyond the fact that they were there.

Bob: I think that fake tits can be hot. It just depends on a couple of different things. First of all, it depends on the quality of the job. I have seen great racks and I have seen weird looking/bad racks. My ex-girlfriend first had fake tits that weren’t really all that great. They were hard and you could tell that they were fake. However, she had them redone a few months back and now they are great! The look great (you wouldn’t know they were fake) and they feel great and taste even better. I think that the newer stuff that they are using is a lot better to the touch and feel.

Scott: I can understand the need for some women to want to enhance their breast size. I see nothing wrong with it as long as it is for the right reason.
To get a movie role? No.
To make yourself feel good about your body? Yes.
To please your partner? No. Get a new partner, it’s easier and cheaper, too.
Lift some saggy breast? Sure!
A cup to a C cup? Yes.
A cup to a D cup? Ok, yes.
C cup to a DDD cup and up? NO!!!! Those are Porn Boobs or Dick Shelves and are not attractive!
Breast implants need to be done by a qualified surgeon also. They need to look and feel natural. Natural is sexy. Plastic bumps with the space to iron your shirt between them are not.

Carl: I also think that it depends on the body type. I am not into, nor do I think that most guys into grotesquely large boobs in proportion to the body type. To me, it just looks weird if you have a small petite girl which humongous boobs. In summation, I think that they can be hot if they are done right and are appropriately sized for size and body type of the girl.

Andy: I like ‘em. I don’t see anything wrong with body modification as long as it is not too extreme. But then again I don’t know where exactly that line is drawn. Being gay I don’t think I have ever intended to touch one on purpose but I have accidentally and it wasn’t a bad thing. My only issue is that I always feel they are looking at me. Sort of like the paintings on Scooby Doo where the eyes move.

Jones: I LOVE the look… But they feel too hard and weird. Fortunately, my girlfriend has great boobs… And they are real!

Marcel: I hate breast implants. They look fake, feel fake and you can tell they’re fake right away. Oh, did I mention that I hate fake boobs?

Nick: They’re gross.
1. They are hard to the touch – in a bad way, it’s not an ass.
2. They leave an unexplainable gap between breasts – humans deal in universal symmetries for beauty.
3. They appear unnaturally circular – sometimes a scar shows where they stuffed something in.
Basically they excite 14 year old boys and men who think like 14 year old boys. All things equal I would take a flat chested woman over the best boob job in the world any day of the week. It’s like collagen. It further makes you look like a monster ladies. Men are growing savvy to it. Natural is better.

Lane: Implants: Fun to play with, but not to marry.

George: Mind you, there are exceptions to every rule, but for me, ideally, I would prefer natural. Not necessary because of the implants themselves, but more so because of what it represents to me. Girls who get implants, tend do it because of a lack of confidence, or inner peace with themselves. So, it’s a little bit of a turn off to see that they take the quick fix, and treat the problem, rather than cure it with self reflection, ending with inner peace and confidence. If you were to interview all girls with implants, I’m sure you would find that common denominator. So in my conclusion: Fun for fucking, but not for loving.

Brandon: Hate them. Most plastic surgery is unnecessary and looks bad. Breasts should be natural. That’s why they feel good. That’s what’s sexy to me. As long as yours are bigger than mine, I’m happy.

And as for the girls:

Jodi: I think they are fine if the girl really has small boobs and wants them for herself, though I don’t like the really large obvious fakes. I can’t attest to the touching factor! I did touch my friend Ingrid’s after she got hers back in college and they felt very strange but it was right after surgery. So, I think they are fine if they are natural looking.

Jess: I have no problem with them if someone is getting them in order to improve their confidence but I do think they should be done on the natural side and not on a Heidi Montag scale. As for guys, I’ve heard mixed reviews. I dated a guy in college that told me he would never marry a girl who had fake boobs…but I’ve had guy friends say that they don’t care as long as they look somewhat natural.

Suzy: I don’t have anything against women who have them, however I instantly judge them as a sign of insecurity. I’m proud of being a B cup and wouldn’t change it for anything in the world! I would never want to change my physical look to please or attract that kind of man.

Jen: I’ve seen a set of fake barely b cups that looked amazing. She’d been a negative a before and they were a vast improvement. Small, perky and cute.

Wendy: All natural for me, please!!

Sarah: Personally, I think if breast implants make you feel better about yourself—go for it, but please stick to a natural size for your body frame. I would never get them myself—I prefer smaller/ natural boobs. I feel thinner with smaller boobs, and I would prefer for boys to look at my face instead! But whatever makes you happy—go for it!