The other night my friend stopped by with a bottle of wine. She shoved it in my hand and said she couldn’t have it in her apartment. She had received the bottle as a gift from her boss, but since she’s trying to avoid “empty calories,” she needed to get rid of it stat before she cracked it open and consumed the whole thing. She was beyond frazzled about the wine that she’d been carting around all day since she had received it and was excited to hand it over to someone.

I took it from her and reached for the bottle opener. She screeched something along the lines of “don’t you dare taunt me with those empty calories, Chatel!” I glared at her and continued to open the bottle. I may be on a diet (OK, I start tomorrow since I fucked up this week), but I’m not about to give up a glass of wine or a beer or a martini for it. I don’t care how much it’s going to help.

I want to support my friend, and do, but if I have to hear one more fucking time about these goddamn empty calories, I’m going to kill her. I get it! They’re empty calories, but aren’t they the good kind of empty calories? Aren’t they better than a bag of Doritos?

[b5poll id=”b65ff4a5e6f093e7eeaad991b70167fa”]