It’s not New York, despite what New Yorkers would have you believe.

It’s Colorado!

And it’s because everyone in Colorado lives like a cowboy, riding horses all day and eating lean meat and just doing tons and tons of heroin.

I might have made that up, actually. But I didn’t make up this CalorieLab study that rated the states on their level of obesity.

And Mississippi won! Go Mississippi! Let’s take a brisk walk to celebrate. No? Oh, okay, let’s eat some cherpumple.