gwyneth paltrow weightGwyneth Paltrow has a bit of an image problem. Her prim, super privileged lifestyle and occasionally pretentious sound bites make her seem like the rich girl in high school who went to Paris for Christmas break and came back with a fake accent and superior attitude. While she has occasional flashes of likeability, in general she grates. But her people want to fix that problem, and they have a brilliant solution: Make Gwyneth fat.

RadarOnline is reporting that Gwyneth Paltrow is desperate to fix up her image in preparation for the alleged Vanity Fair take-down that almost nobody would know about if not for Gwyneth’s loud and public attempts to shut down or discredit it, which have only served to make us all look forward to seeing what the big deal is.

“She has to fix this problem before she commits to more work,” said another of Radar Online’s anonymous sources, which tend to have good quotes but questionable reliability. “There is a significant image problem at work and Gwyneth doesn’t want to have another baby to fix it.”

Having a baby to fix a public image seems pretty insane. But apparently her people have an even better idea: Gwyneth should put on weight for a movie, and then do a lot of interviews about how hard it was to lose the weight. That way everyone will have sympathy.

“It looks like she will have to undergo either some weight gain for a role that wins her Bridget Jones-style sympathy,” the source said.

Right, because Gwyneth’s public image issue is that everyone hates her because she’s thin, and not that she makes $900 jeans and snarks about how dumb and uncultured Americans are and generally is so prim and perfect she makes Martha Stewart look like Jennifer Lawrence.

Via RadarOnline/Photo: WENN