prince harry beard

It’s good to be Queen. Not only does Queen Elizabeth II get unspeakable riches, all the diamond tiaras in the world, and possibly a dragon, she also has the ability to make fashion decisions for her grandchildren. I can’t imagine how envious the other grandmothers of the world must be right now.

When my cousin grew a beard, our grandmother talked endlessly about how awful it was and how he should shave it off. When Prince Harry grew a beard, his grandmother told him to shave it right off. She can do that, because she’s the Queen.

Prince Harry grew the fuzzy red beard last month for a charity trek to the South Pole, and we quite like it. So do a lot of the other royals, apparently. According to the Sunday Express, Prince William and Kate Middleton loved it, as did Princess Anne’s daughter Zara, who decided his new name should be “Prince Hairy.” The Queen, however, was not amused. (I really hope she said, “We are not amused.”)

According to a nameless “royal insider” speaking to the Express:

“The Queen soon let her displeasure be known. She doesn’t mind royal men growing beards when they are away in the Armed Forces or out in the wilds like Harry was in the Antarctic, but she expects them to be clean-shaven when they get home.”

A member of the Buckingham Palace staff apparently said that staff are highly discouraged from growing beards or facial hair, because the Queen hates them.

“It would not go down well if you tried it on,” the source said. “The Queen thinks they look scruffy and are inappropriate at work.”

Prince Harry does still have the beard at the moment, though. He said he would shave it off, but he wanted to keep it long enough to show his girlfriend, Cressida Bonas, who has been out of town.