21-year-old British glamour model Amy Childs is, based on this outfit, quite possibly the worst (and/or the new Jodie Marsh). Childs is also well known in the UK for giving someone a vajazzle (a vajazzling?) on a show on a trashy reality show called The Only Way is Essex. She’s since become “synonymous with vajazzling”–much like Jennifer Love Hewitt on this side of the pond.

Now, Childs has decided to parlay her marginal, bottom-feeding fame into something more by launching a new product called the Hair Vajazzle. It’s vajazzles… for your hair! That’s her up there promoting the product at a photocall.

…But how does one affix vagina accoutrements to one’s hair? Here are some words:

Attached by applying just a couple of seconds of heat, these gorgeous hair accessories will last up to 7 days making sure that you are looking ‘glam’ – perfect for the upcoming summer proms and parties.

Consisting of two stunning designs – one classic round diamantes and one cute heart design, ideal to add some sparkle to your hair and are sure to brighten up any hair style and finish off that party outfit.

Amy says about her new range:

“I put the body vajazzle on the map so now I have created my very own Hair Vajazzle range. They add glitter and sparkle to your hair so are amazing for parties – I love them!”

Notice how the explanation had nothing to do with vaginas? That is because these are not in fact vajazzles. They are just -azzles. They are -azzles for your hair. Stop being terrible.

And! For those of you whose sentience predates this story, you may recall this was a weird trend in the ’90s. Courtney Love did this all the time. Here she is at the Golden Globes, wearing a look from John Galliano‘s infamous Christian Dior “hobo” collection with “hair gems:”

They are not vajazzles here, either.

(Childs photo via HuffPo)