hangover cure

It’s Monday a week before the holidays and I know you probably still have a hangover from the weekend. I mean, maybe not. I don’t know. I don’t know your life. But if you are hungover – or plan to be anytime in the next few weeks – I have a food that will stop you from feeling like you are going to die.

Most likely, when you wake up hungover you want something heavy and starchy and kind of bland inside your stomach. What do you want? Oatmeal! When do you want it? In fifteen minutes after you peel yourself out of bed!

Okay, the only thing is the A) oatmeal tastes awful, even though it is a soft food, which your body will be able to digest well and B) you’re probably also going to want something with some kind of grease to it? That is not french fries, because, really, soft foods are best.

How about eggs? Eggs are good for hangovers because their yolks contain large amounts of cysteine, which breaks down acetaldehyde, which is one thing that causes a hangover. Science. That’s science right there.

And, umm, cheddar, because cheddar is just fun.

So, this recipe for an oatmeal egg thing is everything you need, pretty much, although I am going to gamble that Martha Stewart did not intend it to be a hangover cure.

According to her, you are going to need:

  • 1/2 cup quick-cooking rolled oats
  • Coarse salt and ground pepper
  • Nonstick cooking spray
  • 1 large egg
  • 2 tablespoons shredded sharp cheddar
  • 1 tablespoon thinly sliced scallion greens

I have helpfully crossed out the things you do not actually need. According to me you are also going to need

  • 1 generous pinch of sugar for the oatmeal, because oatmeal is SUPER BLAND.

Begin by bringing one cup of water to a boil on the stove.


That was to let you know what I’ll never judge you.

So. Now that you’ve done that, drop 1/2 a cup of the rolled oats into the boiling water. Like so:

oatmeal how to make

Add a pinch of salt, pepper and sugar and stir in. While the oats are softening in the water (you’ll want to give them about 5-6 minutes) take out a frying pan. Crack an egg. Drop it onto the frying pan. Add salt and pepper. DO NOTHING ELSE.

It you stir it it’s going to break and you’ll ruin everything. Do not stir the egg or attempt to flip it. Just stand there. For about two more minutes.

Pour the oatmeal into a bowl. Then scoop the egg up with a spatula and place it atop the oatmeal.

Scatter with cheddar cheese. Eat with a spoon. Or a fork. Honestly, that is the kind of decision that you need to be able to make on your own.

And, like the Christmas/Chanukah/Whatever spirit, this is the kind of gift that keeps giving all year long. Go, put it in your tired belly and feel better.