You got Tyra Banks for Secret Santa and you’re clueless about what to buy her? Been there.
We showed you a handful of perfect present ideas for aspiring fashion designers and gave you some really cute inspiration for buying gifts for fashionable dudes, but what in god’s name are you supposed to get Cara Delevingne? In this, the most useful and realistic gift guide in the history of the internet, I’ll give you five fool-proof ideas for buying Christmas presents for your favorite fashion icons.
1. Rose colored glasses for Victoria Beckham. Remember when Posh covered her Instagram page with pictures of her hot pink Christmas tree? In front of a hot pink background? Clearly, she’s slowly working to turn her entire life into a cotton candy-colored nightmare. Buy her these, and she can see the whole world en rose. Save her the trouble of painting her kids pink.
2. An eHarmony membership for Miranda Kerr. We’re still mourning the death of hers and Orlando Bloom‘s relationship (Will/Jada and Jon Hamm/Jennifer Westfeldt are ALL I HAVE LEFT), but you can’t expect a Victoria’s Secret Angel to wait around and waste her gorgeousness. Go get ’em, Miranda.
3. A framed copy of the infamous breastfeeding photo for Gisele Bundchen. Gisele is clearly very, very proud of her ability to let a child suckle on her breast while she simultaneously gets her nails and hair done, and I want her to be able to hold on to that forever.
4. A book about that guy who ate like a million Big Macs for Cara Delevingne. Our favorite little weirdo makes it no secret that she loves burgers and fries— and McDonald’s in particular– and since she’s considered moving in with Rihanna, I feel like she also appreciates eccentric people. There’s an actual biography of the legendary Big Mac guy (aptly titled 22,477 Big Macs), and I just feel like Cara would be into it.
5. My phone number for Giuliana Rancic. I’ve always been weirdly obsessed with GDR, and I can’t think of anything she needs more than a good bonding sesh with a complete stranger. I’m so thoughtful.
Never again will you lose sleep wondering what to buy for an insanely rich stranger! So get shopping, you cute little stalker. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” quite like “restraining order.”