santa liposuction

He's happy, okay? He's fine.

Oh, good Lord, just eat some stuffing. It will be fine. Yes, people do gain an average of five pounds over the holidays, but that is not a ridiculous amount. You can just exercise after the holidays, like everyone else, in the world. Or you could just not eat those cookies with the little silver balls on them, but, you know, that seems tragic. Or you can have some kind of bizarre 21st century approach and just get liposuction in an attempt to avoid gaining weight? Because everything is horrible, I guess.

According to The Daily Mail:

But rather than waiting until January to shed that extra flab, stars worried about their figures – including Antony Costa of once-defunct boy band Blue, and former WAG Lizzie Cundy – are getting the lipo lasers out in November.

One Harley Street clinic has seen a 33 per cent rise in bookings for its non-invasive liposuction procedure in the run-up to Christmas…

The 32-year-old mother-of-two, who is married to Notts County footballer Tom Williams, had the Lipoglaze treatment on London’s Harley Street at the LoveLite clinic.

She said: ‘We all need a bit of help shifting those stubborn areas of fat – even if, like me, you eat well and exercise regularly.

‘I decided to have the treatment now because I know with two hungry young boys and a footballer husband, there is going to be so much pigging out at Christmas.

‘If I get working on my muffin tops now I’ll have a bit of a “get out of jail free” card and won’t be so guilty if I put on a few pounds at Christmas.

‘I know that if I do put on a few pounds  my muffin tops will only go back to the old shape because Lipoglaze has made them much smaller. I guess you could call it my little “insurance policy”.’

This is depressing. Just go to the gym if you’re worried about a tiny, tiny bit of extra holiday poundage. You do not need liposuction. Your muffin top is fine. More than fine. Delightful. Here is a song about it: